The Demented Nine

Estamos vivos??!

2009-06-22T19:04:00.000+01:00

Hello,

está ai alguém??

2006-10-19T21:40:00.000+01:00

Olá caros dementes!!

Bem o caso que me tras aqui hoje é bastante sério, por ser tão serio axo que nem o devia estar a comentar aqui, uma vez que o nosso blog mais do que morto, não é visitado por ninguem...

Trata-se da nossa cara amiga naughty. Pois é nós ja sabiamos que algo de muito grave lhe ocupava os seus dias, nao podendo assim ela estar na presença de nos, seus queridos amigos durante a maior parte do tempo.

O culpado:
A primeira suspeita recaiu sobre o famoso "rapaz do armário"
aquele que nunca ninguém viu, mas que se pensava ler a sobre a sua existência nas entrelinhas do que a naug dizia e mesmo nos seus próprios gestos. Mas nada se sabe ainda da sua existência, nem ao menos se tem a certeza: "rapaz do armário" ou "rapaz debaixo da cama"!!

Segunda suspeita: tartaruga vibradora!!
essa foi vista, na propria companhia da dona. Sabe-se que é inofenciva, por isso as culpas não poderiam ser dela

Outros suspeitos são:
Darwin e Hard Gay (não me perguntem....)

Mas mais recentemente e a mais plausivel de todas as hipoteses, sera mesmo o verdadeiro motivo do desaparecimento misterioso, prolongado, ocioso, barafastoso, horroroso, insinuoso, pretendencioso, e isso
é esta:

(lamento a qualidade das fotos, mas não podia ser vista ali, sob risco que os "capangas" da naughty me descobrissem, e depois sabe-se la como eu estaria agora...)

2006-10-19T21:37:00.000+01:00

o blog ta mortoooooooo!!!

Tragédiaaa!

2006-01-09T19:54:00.001Z

Como já repararam os nossos amigos aliens, que tao gentilmente habitavam a nossa máquina de café favorita, foram embora! Sem se despedir é verdade, mas isso deve ter sido culpa nossa porque não percebemos os sinais (tal como o aumento de preço do café).

Pois é, também pensei que eles tinham voltado para a sua terrinha, para a época semi-tetranual (com u) de acasalamento. Já que o seu objectivo era aumentar o seu numero para que conseguissem ter um deles em cada uma das casas do nosso planeta(nao sei bem para que). E era mesmo isso que eles iam fazer mas...

Pelo que foi dito pela Dopamina, que tinha sido dito pelo senhori que faz a manutenção da maquina do cafe, e da dos bolos, e dos gelados?, que nao sei se foi dito por mais alguém ou presenciado... Enfim
Como todos sabem, como fachada para o seu desaparecimento, os Mestres do Café telepaticamente, convem a companhia que tem de ser mudados de sitio ou armazenados por algum tempo. E lá conseguiram mais uma vez, para durante a viagem se pisgarem!
Mas, desta vez enquanto se libertavam das amarras de segurança algo falhou e... páz trás catapás, selipotaparás!! Estatelaram-se no meio do chão!

Pois é, meus amigos, os Aliens da nossa querida maquina morreram!

(felizmente a q la esta agora parece ser ainda melhor, mais ou menos)

Pronto e aqui fica a minha sugestão para nos juntarmos para um café em honra desses tao bons companheiros!!

A Naggy

Passagem d Ano people! Ah e ja agora bom natal!

2005-12-25T10:20:00.000Z

Pois é demeted e apendices, ja so temos uma semaninha ate a passagem d ano e eu axei k aki era o melhor sitio p combinarmos as cenas (visto k ha mt gente k nc ta no msn...)

Se estão a ler isto é pk provavelmente a minha sms d natal ja chegou (Merry Xmas!)

Portanto para começar: Jantar é as 8, a rakel ja reservou as mesas no chines... Encontramo-nos as 6 ou 7 (logo s ve) em casa da rakelita.

Coisas a levar: Copos de shot - ja tenho
Baileys - tb
Champagne - ditto...
Bolo de chocolate - Ana Maria
Sumos (n sei kuais, coca-cola?) - Kika
Gomas - (a marisa devia tratar disto)
Vodka, Pisang-Ambom(sorry if I misspelled), e outras bebidas...
Mais cenas p comer....?

Por isso o objectivo disto é simples, venham ca e escrevam o k levam p combinarmos as cenas...
Ah e ja agora o ppl k ainda n confirmou, diga klk koisa tb... (tipo Drama...)

E pronto... Resto de um Bom Natal p vcs tds e ate dia 31!!

PS-> Rakel, devo ir dia 31 do entrº, por isso dps manda sms p combinarmos as horas...

Alguém ensine a classificação de Whittaker aos jornalistas! ..pleease!!! -era 1x a gripo das aves

2005-11-11T15:18:00.000Z

Bem, de facto esta história já se passou há 2 ou 3 semanas...mas como eu não sou uma pessoa normal, em vez de esquecer a password esqueci foi o nome de utilizador...enfim...e até alguém mo lembrar foi este tempo!
De qualquer modo a crise não é grande... cheira-me que este assunto vai continuar em moda nos próximos 2sécs., ...a menos que entretanto chegue a tão esperada pandemia, claro!

Estava uma pessoa (aka, eu) inocentemente a morrer de tédio a ouvir o telejornal, quando ouve a milésima bacurada de jornalistas àcerca de biologia ou algo parecido, do tipo eles a armarem-se em espertos a tentar mostrar que sabem 1pouco de tudo! (esta é a parte em que eu digo: "tão pouco que não sei se mesmo a microscópio electrónico se vê!")

«Não há questão para alarme: tanto quanto se sabe o vírus só se propaga no reino animal.»

...Herm...expliquem-me uma coisa: de entre os 5 reinos que eu conheço, a qual é que nós pertencemos? ...Hum...ao Fungi?!
...Pois, eu sei...eu de facto ando há sécs. a dizer que nós somos fungos (tipo: eu sou 1coloniazinha de bolor!), ...mas quer dizer...à partida, pelo que nos ensinam na escola,...nós pertensemos ao Reino Animal...não que eu acredite nisso - continuo a achar que somos fungos - mas...

ALÔÔÔ! Nós somos tão bicho como qualquer outro bicho!
Ou eles estavam a falar para plantinhas e fungozinhos, ou queriam dizer AVES (e por favor, não é PÁSSAROS!), ou então É questão para alarme!
(Ou então não! Morremos todos e salva-se o mundo!)

God! Kill them! Não me tornem a dizer bacuradas do género "nós não somos animais"!

Eediotlly indignada! (os tó-tós dos jornalistas é que dizem estas idiotices, e dp eu é que sou eediot!)

we are not finished yet!!! OK!! ALÔ!! (our most recent reunion)

2005-08-10T19:19:00.000+01:00

AH poix é.. Demented forever! Pk axam k os hospitais psiquiatricos continuam com tantos clientes!!??? Uma mente doente nunca ha-de ter cura, ao contrário do k se diz por aí.. Desenganem-se akeles k pensam vir algum dia a ser pessoas normais... MHUAHAHAHAHAH!!! lol :p

Antes de mais, n sei se é do conhecimento geral, ms a loucura do nosso grupo ultimamente tem estado em alta, pois na verdade temos "novos membros" , os chamados apêndices.. Portanto, agr além de nAughty (me), bitch, dumb, eediot, fuck, kinky, nag, silent e stoopid, temos The insane one, aka Ana Maria (tb conhecida por dopamina k pra kem n sabe é 1 hormona k qd em excesso numa zona do cerebro n sei bem qual causa esquizofrenia); a Dramma Queen, aka Nuno; a Loiraça, aka Ivan (ya o Ivan teve uma fase amarela!!); o NADH (poder redutor), aka Ramirez; a Dina, o Afonso, a Inês, o Nuno, namorado da Cat (tds sem alcunha - aceitam-se sugestões!).. Did I forget someone or something?? Bem, + recentemente aquirimos "akilo" k eu demominei de flu (gripe) poix parece só aparecer uma vez de ano a ano.. Cheguei a pensar em período ms isso é de mês a mês.. Adivinhem kem é?? Sim David é mm contigo! Pensavas k te escapavas.. Sorry nelita.. se tiveres melhor sugestão.. sempre podemos trocar para id-castigador ou algo parecido.. lol A verdade é k os apendices continuam a aparecer.. inda no nosso último jantar tivemos presente "akilo" k se poderá tornar no nosso próximo cancro ou tumor.. a Rita!! Desta forma, felicito tds os cancros e tumores do nosso grupo!! Os Demented tao mt contentes em ter-vos conosco (cof cof)!! E contamos convosco no nosso proximo jantar! Qts + cancros e tumores melhor!! Por isso ja sabem tds os k kiserem tornar-se nos proximos cancros e tumores dos The Demented Nine podem faze-lo.. Aviso-vos é ja k as provas de aptidão e os pré-requisitos n sao faceis.. N é qq um k possui o nivel de demencia indicado pra conviver com os restantes menbros do grupo.. Algum candidato?? LOL

Agora uma pequena referência á nossa ultima aventura, o jantar dos demented e apendices: passou-se num retaurante indiano algures entre saldanha e arroios, tivemos presentes 14 pessoas, alguns disparates, algumas asneiras e fomos pra casa da nélia (pra variar) beber sangria, caipiroska, pisang, jogar twister, xenga, trivial, inclusivé tivemos 1 sessão de espiritismo na qual o espirito n apareceu n se sabe bem pk (lol) e assistimos a 1 prova de contorsinismo do id executada por david e afins.. Coitado do id..! Imagine-se o k ele n deve ter feito á nag nessa mm noite... Vá, Vá, digam la k n foi divertido!!! No proximo vamos ao japones!! Comecem a juntar dinheiro pessoal.. sem desculpas..

P.S. É de notar k no final da noite a Kinky estava quase completamente bebeda.. Hã.. guida.. bebedeira de pisang.. ah poix é..

nAughty by nature... ;p

Exams...

2005-06-30T16:18:00.000+01:00

Pois é ká andamos nós nesta coisa do demo outra vez... Mas kém é k s lembrou disto? Ker dizer n basta já termos k ir akelas aulas tds (cof cof, evitam-s comentários faz favori!) e termos k apanhar com cada bruta seca, inda temos k enterrar a marmita em livros k N SÃO DO BUFO, poeirentos e mal cheirosos pa sabermos k, nas galinhas kem usa as calças na fámilia, é kem põe os ovos? (fdx, imagina bem uma galinha a por ovos com calças? Oh man, isto só na minha cabecita atrofiada mm...) Tá mal, axo eu! Ker dizer, já n s acredita na palavra das pessoas? Pa mim cada um preenchia a sua própria pauta e dps iamos po moxo (ou insert favorite bar in here) emborcar uma jolas, comer tremoços e dizer baboseiras k ng ker sabr no caminho pra casa! Nera mt melhor? Não claro k n, os profs tb têm k parecer k trabalham né? Eu nem kero é sabr pk é k os exams d antro colam, mas ixo né pra mim, N FAÇO ESSE! :P

Mas prt, cmo diz o meu cota, o k tem k ser tem mt força por ixo lá vamos nós pas jolas, erm livros livros!!!!!! Mas isto ha-d akabar s akele tipo fixe d barba branca, á la love boat, do videoclip dos tenacious D (fuck her hard!) kizer. E aí k é k s faz? JANTAR!!!!!! Ixto é pa fikarem já tds a sabr! N kero ouvir dizer k n têm dinheiro! Comem a bancada s for preciso mas kero-os lá tds! Ou isso ou a pedra(da) de 4 toneladas da Riza. Xega e sobre e é da maneira como cagam fininho dps! É mlhor k fibras, digo eu k n percebo nadinha dixo :P Ou ixo ou vamos tds comer a uma kinta nos açores! Hmm kika no xpeto! :P

Cof cof, prt já xega destas alarvidades, faz m mal á saude. Ker dizer, ha d fazr s m encontrarem;) Xto d hj a uma semana já n custa nd e lg s discute o significado da vida e outras coisas afins como era o costume deste blog ants dxta minha esporádica passagem ;D Inté lá lembrem-s, bebam, erm, xtudem mt!!!!!

PS: Ng ker roubar um exam/pauta a meias? A sério, vendo bem n era roubar, era adiantar o futuro, tipo bola de cristal, mas sem rabo d macaco. Aceitam-se inscrições :P

[Edit]: Porra xkeci m d assinar... Nill, stupid extraordinaira, studying, erm, I mean drinking! Did I just got that right? My head hurts... Stupid WALL!

ROSINHA-DO-DESERTO FAN CLUB!?!

2005-05-22T18:20:00.000+01:00

Bem...e já que "esta cena tá morta" e que eu nunca mais cá meti os pés...:
(...ó bolas, mas quem é que se lembra de espezinhar um PC sem ser com a intensão de o chacinar...?! ;p)

...E com o desenrolar dos últimos acontecimentos, naquela tão divertida saída de geologia, acho que ganhámos o nosso objecto de culto para este ainda não oficialmente inaugorado fan club: um calhau de 4toneladas (ops, Kg, enganeim-me ;p - é que parecia mesmo!), com uma rosinha-do-deserto encrostada!
Fofo, fofo, é que o peso inicial do calhau era de mais do dobro...e quem foi que o reduziu, quem foi? A nossa Rosinha original, de carne (e que carne!) e osso e martelinho em punho! Alilás! O que vocês não sabiam é que já tem a assinatura do prof incluida! Á pois! É que pra ver a dureza na escala de mós, fez-lhe 1risco com a unha! Á pois é!!!!
Bom, portanto tenho a intormar que o altar de culto se localiza em minha casa e que o valioso objecto não está disponível para venta e nem sequer para leilão! (ao contrário do caralho de bartas - ops, baralho de cartas - do Fatela, que inda tá à espera de mudar de dona/o!)

*Eediot* babada e cansada de andar co calhau às costas! (mas que não, não se arrepende!)

para todos os viciadões me björk q possam por aí andar..

2005-04-02T15:59:00.000+01:00

Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com

Hoje... é dia das mentiras

2005-04-01T21:35:00.000+01:00

Mente!!!

Oh no you don't!!

2005-03-30T09:51:00.000+01:00

NAAAAAAAOOOOO!!!
Nao desistas!
Parva, parva, parva, parva!
PPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAA!

Pronto ja tas melhor agora elsa? Ja tens o k escrever!

O que me lembra!

Sabiam que o primeiro dono da Malboro, morreu de cancro do pulmao?
Deve ter sido quando s aperceberam que fumar faz mal...
"Ah e tal... vamos fingir que nao sabemos d nada por agora... Buga enterrar o velho no quintal!"

Bem, ate ja melgas! Tenho comboio p apanhar!

desisto!!

2005-03-29T13:54:00.000+01:00

não há nada a fazer este blog tá memo morto.

*elsa*

me likes...

2005-03-18T22:26:00.000Z

...coffee. You may all pertinently ask: but why if it is so intensely scented and so opaquely brrrrrownish????

Well coffee is primarily a bean. And beans are cute. You can put'em in your ears and use'em as a sleep certifier during classes; you can pull'em up both your nostrils and get the whole family to think you're attempting suicide by suffocating to death (even though you know deep inside you can always count on your mouth for any last minute intake of air... it's good to know it's there); and! you can shove'em up your ass and get your mom to believe that it wasn't such a good idea to get laid with that male goat 20 years ago ("Damn!!... but it had such a sweeeet ass!").

In a second stage coffee is profaned, because it is sold as a dirrty mixture of coffee and barley (which diminishes by far its value and effect... tsk tsk). Well it's most coffee beans' final destination (only a few lucky ones can make it all the way to your rectum...). And it's sad. Well, it's still not enough good a reason for me to stop drinkin it.

Altogether coffee is nice. I think abouth it every second. And I see it everyday... in the face of every goat... in the smile af every rabbit. And it feels warm.

am i gonna have to smack you bitch?

2005-03-15T19:30:00.000Z

hem hem...

PÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓRRRR... cof cof (porra do muco!)

...CA!

YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU BITCH??~

*dumb :o) (there's no cure for my state of mind... or lack of it.)*

Something I just had to share!

2005-03-15T00:04:00.000Z

Soz for the double post in one evening but I just had to share this with you...

This first one is for Dumbass!

And now for Kinky cause I know you wove this!

And finally!
FOLLOW THE BUTTERFLIES PEOPLE!!!

(All the credit goes to the people who made this... Can't remember who exactly but if you look at potterpuppetpals.com you'll find out....)

To Dumb

2005-03-14T20:10:00.000Z

PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA, PARVA!!!!
Beat that you dumbass!!!

PS-> Me wooooveeees you so much for doing this!!

Oh and by the way...
I have something of interest to say! Read and learn kids!

Elsa is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
Elsa is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED

And Nelia does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

WEEEEE!

*Bitch: is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.*

To bitch!!

2005-03-12T03:18:00.000Z

PORCA!

*dumbass (IIII''ll... poke you in the eeye... poke you in the eeye...)*

Boredom

2005-02-24T17:46:00.000Z

Why make a post on boredom on a blog that is supposed to be based in madennig friendship and random acts of calousness and self-destruction? Well because of that same old reason: it gets old. We milked the cow for all the little bitch was worth and now we stand here at this razor's edge, wondering if we should dive into the abyss or swing our arms to hold on a fucking few more precious seconds. A Nihilist would probably say "Why the fuck care? We'll end down there anyway", but we know better. Or do we? And so we keep swinging, we stave off boredom, while away our petty lives with even pettier things that matter not in the grand scheme that is all around us, while all the great things swing by us like muses on silver chiming wings, calling out our names onto already deaf ears. But why don't we hear or see them? Well, because great things, like it took me so fucking long to find out, are only great in essence. Their size in wordly terms is naught at all or tiny and insignificant. That's why we trample them out and smile the strech of beast leather that isn't exactly ours but that proves confort enough.

Isn't it time we changed already for the love of (insert prefered divinity here) ?

Either way, be sure to ignore me. My point kind of defeats its own idiot self, as per the usual sum of events, so who cares?

*Nill, sleeper in the Void*

atão e as postas, porra?

2005-02-18T12:55:00.000Z

children... i kinda think our blog is rottening....

so get your fat arses off the bed and motherfuckin' POST!

also... i probably should get a life.

*Dumb*

comida tradicional do 21C 3º drt... isto é k é variedade!!!

2005-02-01T16:23:00.000Z

Atum à Brás II
Colaboração de Andreia Sousa

Ingredientes:

2 latas de atum bom petisco
2 cebolas médias
1 pacote de batatas palha
pimenta
6 ovos
sal
2 dentes de alho picado
salsa

Confecção:

Corta-se as cebolas ás rodelas e refoga-se no azeite com os dentes de alho picados.
Quando a cebola estiver translúcida junta-se o atum previamente escorrido do óleo e refoga-se mais 5 min.
Depois junta-se o pacote de batata palha até estiver tudo homogéneo e mole, acrescenta-se os ovos batidos com um pouco de sal e pimenta ( atenção que as batatas já têm sal ) e mexe-se até os ovos estarem fritos.
Polvilha-se com salsa picada e já está.
Acompanha-se com uma boa salada de alface.

*the alpha meiiiiiiiiiiiiiile*

comida tradicional do 21C 3º drt...

2005-02-01T16:20:00.000Z

Atum à Brás
Colaboração de Susana Masaquê

Ingredientes:

3 latas de atum
1 cebola grande
3 dentes de alho
1 fio de azeite
sal q.b.
pimenta q.b.
salsa q.b
1 Kg Batatas fritas aos palitos finos
10 ovos

Confecção:

Num tacho coloca-se um fio de azeite com a cebola e o alho cortados finamente até alourar.
Junta-se o atum escorrido do óleo e tempera-se de sal, pimenta e salsa e deixa-se refugar um pouco não deixando pegar.
Retire do lume.
Fritam-se as Batatas em palitos finos que se vão envolvendo no preparado anterior.
Batem-se os ovos com um garfo.
Leva-se o preparado do atum novamente ao lume e misturam-se os ovos mexendo sempre.
Acompanha com salada de alface.

Bom Apetite!

*dumb, the poking cute psycho bunny*

2005-01-24T02:28:00.000Z

sonet on my favorite cofee machine:

u's the best
oh cofee machine!...
ooooohhh cofee machine
let go of my brrrreast!!! (uuh, kinky!!)

i lika u milk
i lika u coffee
but i lika betta
tha way u maka me feel(k)...........

......why don't you care??
cofee machiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!
i could go somewhere

for you cofi and milk
i'd live in tha Basement you's in.
and now I'VE RUN OUT OF INK!!

erm... sim, já sei o k tão a pensar... mais um post estúpido (o zé foi agora dormir deve-me tar a amaldiçoar por causa do barulho do teclado!!!)

é k eu tinha feito este soneto pó post k tinha feito e k acabei de apagar (snif - longa história!) e agora achei k estava estúpido demais pa deitar fora, por isso imortalizei-o aqui... ou nããão...

*dumby, aka elsa...aalsa álegria d'um doce saboor!

"Ah não sei e nc postas no blog"

2005-01-14T01:04:00.000Z

Fdx mas quantas vezes é k eu já ouvi isto hmm? Epá não sei, isto da primeira sim senhor da dor na consciênia. Tipo esta gente toda com vidas bué atarefadas (LOLOLOLOL) a perder tempo com o blog eu, aki a rir-me (ok s calhar né bem isso, mas vomitar, rir é td igual) e sem fazer nada. Não é justo pensei eu... Mas depois de 3 meses a ouvir esta gente sempre a bater no mm fdx até a mim me pareceu k afinal mereciam.

Anyway um post decente atão. Tamos em época de exames, logo não há aulas, logo não tenho nada pa fazer e tenho montes de tempo livre. Mas logo também não nos vemos e isso da saudade. Faltam me aquelas coisas do dia:

Fuck a vir no corredor com um nippy na boca e a gaja a berrar por ele...

Dumb com akele feitizinho de merda, mas hálito de menta a pensar que é um gajo...

Nag a squeekar a plenos pulmões k n merece o nome k tem (TIPO 200 xs POR DIA)...

Bitch plos cantos com olhos vermelhos e vorazes, a predar nos pobres caloiritos e gritando "JÁ LÁ VÃO DOIS MESES! KERO F*ODER!"

Naughty a olhar pra isto tudo e a abanar a cabeça (smp axei k era vtdd de alinhar mas falta de guito mas k é k s há d fazer? :P)

Kinky a dançar uma merda qq bué do estranha, bué oriental, bué creepy à volta deste pessoal em qt pede em tom de falsete "Spank Me! HARDER!"

Idiot a rir-se k nem uma perdida sem saber mt bem o k s passa ou k mal fez a Deus pra meterem neste calvário. Não, pera isso somos nós... ;)

E finalmente Silent com a dica que parte tudo "...Hmm *cough cough*..."

Ah é disto k sinto falta! Da azáfama do dia-a-dia, dos insultos trocados, das mesas da faculdade partidas, do café de merda do c1 k só bebemos pq somos pobres E forretas... FDX PERAÍ MAS O K É K EU TOU A DIZER?

Nill, #1 permanent resident of The Void, Stoopid e gajo k tá fdd a Fisiologia Animal pq em vez de estudar tá à meia noite e dezassete a fazer posts num blog MORTO!

post

2005-01-07T13:56:00.000Z

O choque! O pânico! O horror! (o texto original não é assim, mas azares!)

2004-12-19T21:22:00.000Z

Isto hoje é só notícias chocantes!

1º- Esta na realidade era a última, mas como está mais fresquinha (e quanto!!!) vai em primeiro lugar:
É a propósito da chocante notícia que a SIC transmitiu há uns dias de uma linda lula congelada (ora lá está o fresco!) com recheio de latex!
MAS QUEM É QUE ANDOU A FODER A POBRE DA LULA???
Quer dizer, eu sei que o bichinho até tem uma forma fálica ... mas daí a violarem o animal...!?
quer dizer, NÃO! É nojento! É zoofilia!
...E tinham mesmo que se esquecer do preservativo lá dentro?

2º- Esta foi uma infeliz comparação que o nosso Meleca Prateada/ Action Man/ Joel fez num dia infeliz:
Ora estavamos nós na cantina a falar de biologia, biólogos, esteriótipos de biólogo, ... , e por aí em diante, a dizer que só os de BMG é que fugiam por completo ao esteriótipo, ...quando o nosso amigo se sai com esta:
"Os biólogos de BMG são como as prustitutas de cabaré, e os restantes biólogos são prustitutas de rua."

...Sim ... se virmos bem, de facto os de BMG têm muito mais regalias: sempre enfiados dentro de casa (no laboratório), com salários mais elevados, mais comodidades, ... ; os restantes biólogos vão pró ataque pró terreno (!), têm salários que mal se vêem (ou lá perto!) e estão expostos a outros riscos.
...Mas quer dizer ... ser comparada a uma puta???

...Então, seguindo este raciocínio, eu sou uma puta de rua. Vou pró meio do mato fazer o meu trabalhinho, pôr o corpo a render (...sim, caminhar também custa! Ao sol, à chuva, ao frio...!) ...Mas eu não quero ser comida pelo Lobo Mau...! 0:( Não sou o Capuchinho Vermelho...! 0:(

*Eediot, Iota-Female, Kelly*

Coisas Lindas!!

2004-12-17T13:12:00.000Z

Este dia devia ser decretado feriado (o de ontem).

Xim feriado! Nacional ou até mesmo mundial, pois foi um dia muito importante para todos os terraqueos, talvez à excepção dos hibridos de vulcano e de zamitron, mas para todos os outros muito especial!!

Pk feriado? Por ser um dia importante ja referi. E porke tao importante? Bêm, não foi por ter mais rapidamente gasto o cheque Fnac em toda a história. Muito menos pelo recorde de abertura de pernas de alguns membros dos demented, que mesmo com um enorme esforço nenhum deles conseguiu realmente bater o recorde da Bitch, este ao contrário dos outros não foi conseguido a jogar twister. Sei k keriam fotos mas a reporter não foi convidada :/. Mas podem consultar as de outra disputa:

Ke mais conseguirão elas fazer?

Bem mas voltando ao ponto, o dia foi especial porke:

porke....

...

....

Porke finalmente conseguimos enfiar todos os demented nine numa unica foto!!!!

Xim, por mais incrivel que pareça este feito nunka tinha sido atingido, eles ja tinham sido enfiados todos juntos em muitos, muitos outros sitios mas nunca, NUNCA numa unica e só mesma fotografia (devemos agradecer esse facto a nosso nova companheira para kuase todos os momentos Zipoldina e à colega Maria)

Mas porque nunca tinhamos estado todos juntos numa foto?
São muitos as explicações (alguém que se lembre de alguma que a ponha!) mas talvez fique para sempre a dúvida.

Ai querem ver a foto?

Entao txárááám:

Sermos tão lindinhux!!!
(cof cof)

Agora temos que treinar esta nova habilidade e conseguir umas coisas mais giras!

*The psi-Female, The Nag but the least annoiyng of almost them all*

Ainda antes de acabar, lembrei.m de uma razão pa não haver fotos de todos, é que algumas pessoas a dar po Photofóbikas, insistem em nós (me) dar com almofadas, fazer ameaças muito más e correr atrás de nós (je) quando lhes tiro fotos!
Mas eu ganho eh ehehe, mwuahahaha ah :P

[Edit]: Sorry Nag mas tive que mudar a foto! Assim ja td a gente sabe kem somos, e tb p algumas pessoinhas (aka Dumb) n dizeres que sao as unicas a terem foto no blog... Assim tamos tds! we... hardy har har...
oh joy, oh happyness, oh fullfillment...

*Bitch*

nooooooooooooooooo!!

2004-12-16T13:04:00.000Z

hello my fellow demented ppl!! how is you all?? good? nice to know... i think i'm going now...

..................................................................

bye bye (cocksuckers)!

*dumb, aka me*

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.......IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

2004-12-15T13:42:00.000Z

(ah, bom, tava a ver ko filha da puta do caps lock não funcionava!)

ora bem...

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII............................

...am a punched potatoe!

- the end -

*dumb the punched, not to mention stuck, potatoe*

oh coffee machine... oooohhh coffee machiiine!! multiple bows and reverences - tribute to our favorite coffee machine

2004-12-08T19:09:00.000Z

note: when i said reverences, i actually meant chicken dancing around the machine and/or islamic praying sequence (alternating bottoms up-down)

ok, so here is, for the first time, a post on the one who keeps us awake throughout the days... our very favorite... coffee machine!! As you know (or maybe not), we, the demented nine have found our lair in the dark, arid 1st floor of the C1 complex of our beloved FCUL. yes! our very own wet, full of fungi BASEMENT (this is the sweeet name)!! TA DAAAA!! so nice... as you must be aware of, since classes are so fucking boring, we, as students *cof cof*, need large amounts os coffee to stay awake through all those neverending hours we spend skipping'em... in C1; most of the time not giving a fuck about anything whatsoever.
the logical line of thinking would be something like:... it's a college... has lots of students... all of them have dull square classes... all of them need cafeine (except for kinky, who's hystery.. hum hum, hyperactive on her own. the rest of us are just a bunch of normal coffeeholics)... which leads to a massive number os such machines spread all the way through the various complexes. but this particular one is simply special!! that is not just a coffee machine, that is THE coffee machine!! which is why we wanted it to know how important it is to us... WE LOVE YOU C1'S COFEE MACHINE!!! you rule!!! (even more than the fungi which i, for one, think are extremely cool).

apart from the fact that the coffee expelled from it's hole is extremely efficient, this machine has one more characteristic that makes it unique: where else would you find a coffee machine so loving that everytime you inserted the right amount of coins into the right slot, followed by the gentle pressing of the right button would wish you to allow yourself a moment of relax?? this one does!!

also, for all those who are interested in alien life forms, we have a newsflash on that too. related to our cofee machine, of course. but, unfortunately, since along with being one of the demented nine i also am a russian spy working for the FBI and CIA (lol), i couldn't possibly tell you that according to what we (don't) think, our beloved cofee machine is no less that the home of a couple of aliens come from the planet Zamitron (yes, the same one in which the newly discovered sub-atomic particle Zamitronon was first found!). if you don't believe me you can check out for yourself!! check the pisture below!! see the shadows? need more proof??

we have also noticed that one of them is black and the other is albino - who do you think provides the cofee and the milk?? hencefore, that tasty cofee which we're so addicted to (JUNKIES!! WEEEE!!) is, in fact, the liquid excrementary matter of both (or one at a time, whatever!! though it's not fair that way!!). due to the several concentrations of the mentioned fluids, the various drinks available (long/short cofee, cappuccino, moccaccino, lemon tea (who wants to take a guess at what that's made out of?! lol), blah, blah, blah) differ greatly in taste, color, thickness, and obviously, amount of froth on the top (UUhhh, nice - balls in old spice HAHAHA!!, ok, no, cut it out! STOP IT!! *slappin' myself*).

actually there is, in fact another theory... researches have shown that the button pressing movement can be pretty exciting sooo... maybe the fluids aren't exactly excrementary, know what i mean? *insert sardonic grin here* GOD, why must i be such a pervert?? now i'll never be able to drink out of it again!!! Urghh!

(HAHA! as if i could make a normal living without it!)

by the way, our two aliens need to be named!! since we can't call them tweedeldee and tweedeldum (sorry, already taken!! yep!! they're the pseudonyms of bitch's boobs), we need to come up with something more outgoing... suggestions accepted!!

*dumb, the one and only dumbass forehead*

Pointless Post ~ as usually

2004-12-07T19:59:00.000Z

Hi there my children!
It's been awhile since I've posted anything on this demented blog, but today I felt the sudden urge to come over.
Now I know we've had most of our demented group over here posting their profiles and I can assure ya mine is coming!
*rolls eyes, turns her head 180º and speaks with a very low voice* (hint hint: Think Trewlawney/Exorcist! :P)

I have come to warn you my children! The Flying forehead is coming but do not believe anything she tells you! There is no things such as aliens!
Ermm... I'm just a product of your fertile imagination! No, I'm not an alien telepathically possessing Bitch, no!

*Shakes head, cofs abs speaks normally again*

Hmm... What was I saying...? Ah right! Do not worry my xweet! My biography is coming soon enough!
Now I must go... I feel like there was someone else in here...
Hmmm... That reminds me! I need... SEX! Aweeee! Soz, gotta go! See ya later!

*Bitch, Tau-tau-female, the pink microwave*

2004-12-07T12:19:00.000Z

Caros colegas, e gerações vindoras de futuros pseudo-biolokos (que um dia eventualmente se tornarão ou virão a tornar biólogos) foi me incumbida a missão de os informar sobre as problemas e doenças graves e disfunções do organismo e coiso e tal que a aula prática desta semana de ecologia animal, em acumular com as outras (ora claro esta, a tal fixação com bolas) pode causar nas vossas cabecitas sãs e mesmo noutras k estao mais abaixo (de estatuto), que sejam menos sãs....

Pois é... como exemplo veridico, muito real e realista apresentamos a nossa obra prima e de arte, que teve de ser feita para que conseguissemos evitar a loucura total (pobres dos que nao conseguiram!!) que aquelas três grandes horas a ouvir falar de... hum... axo que... talvez fosse algo relacionado com animais e prontes

Cá xtá:

Pois... parece que afinal sempre ouvimos um bocaditos da aula... imaginem se tivessemos tomado atenção á aula toda!!!!

*Naggy, the not demented one....(será mesmo?!)*

Ah, e queria aqui agradecer à Elçia, a nossa grande criadora de baratas e procedeu a traqueotomia, à Naughty e o seu lindo tubarão (isso ta mais pa golfinho, aiii melher! ké k tu andas prai a fazer) e a Raquelia sem a qual não tinhamos podido oferecer oculos a criatura por ser kuase cega. E para finalizar, ao exmo sr dr professor k nos inspirou dando uma graande aula!! (aplausos sff)

another "post it"... lol

2004-12-06T16:38:00.000Z

Buahhhhh! they wont't let me write in portuguese!!! fuckin' tease! ok, so here comes another post (it or not) yet to be remarkably fogotten blah blah blah....

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...............................

I REST MY CASE.

*Dumb the human flying forehead*

O Meu 1º Post!! (...que enterro...!)

2004-12-03T21:34:00.000Z

(...Sim, porque a minha biografia, de facto fui eu que a escrevi, mas não fui eu que a coloquei aqui!)

...Erm...voltando ao que interessa:

Esta manhã estava com a Bitch nos PC's lá da FCUL e estavamos a ver um site muito giro que respondia a questões como "De que forma te vais suicidar: modo, data, últimas palávras.."; "Como será o teu funeral: data, quantas pessoas presentes, últimas palávras..."; and so on!
-Resposta à 1ª questão: vou morrer afogada a 6/11/2016, ao fim de 46 tentativas, e vou fazer um discurso relacionado com a vida e o amor e blá blá blá...
-Resposta à 2ª questão: funeral a 11/11/2017, 36 pessoas, últimas palávras "I hate you so much!"
Bem...e eu juntei as peças do puzzle e recompuz a história: Um belo dia estarei eu de molho no mar, a dicertar sobre a vida e o amor e blá blá bá...acabo por suspirar um "I hate you so much" a respeito de alguém que aqui não vem pró caso...e...ops...sou embrulhada por uma onda e morro afogada no meu adorado mar! Andarei à deriva pelo oceano durante 1ano até que o meu corpo dará à costa e eu serei enterrada após uma breve autópsia (sim, porque a essa altura já não haverá muito para autopsiar!); só estarão presentes 36 pessoas porque as restantes já se esqueceram aqui da Eediota!

...Ora nisto vira-se a Bitch e diz "Estou assustada..,!"

...Pois, só que falhou-me que aquilo eraa sala de PC's da FCUL e que havia lá mais gente...e só ouço o gajo do PC ao lado virar-se e dizer "Eu também estou assustado...!" (gajo esse que entretanto começou a cantar a música do Dartacão... E depois eu é que sou assustadora...!)

...Ops...Eediot! Porque é que o chão não se abriu???

*Eediot, Iota-female, Rakel*

Ai Joelssia, Joelssia...

2004-11-18T17:04:00.000Z

By this time I think you should all be informed that I, the ALPHA-MALE!! am to be the father of a beautiful (if it doesn’t look like me…) girl/boy/whatever, whose mother is Joel (I’m not aloud to say that he's on my class, and that he is also form that beautiful town on the verge of being swallowed by the sea, called Marinha Grande CITY CAPITAL OF HOLLYWOOD). I should refer to the way the pregnancy began, since it’s obvious that no fertile part of my body was in touch with any of his’ (as far as I can remember!). The thing is, Joel (aka Méléka (Meia-Leca) Prateada or even Action Man – the greatest hero of'em all!) is extremely small and thin (probably about as large as ¼ of myself) and… I know you’ll all find this very cold-hearted but… I… I… *snif*snif*

… the thing is…

…well!...

…I kind of…

…sort of…

Ok! I confess!!!! I FED THE BLOODY GUY A SMINT!!! And he swallowed it!! Now we're gonna have a (female) hybrid: JOELSSIA!!! (don’t you just love it?!) We were actually to have twins, but Stoopid killed the other one (Joelsson).

Ok, I admit, this was not funny… just wanted to share!!!!
As anyone figured out the thing about the beetles fucking the bottle on the back yet??

*Dumb, the uninspired ALPHA-MALE*

The Teletubbies Dissertion

2004-11-18T01:58:00.000Z

As i was all alone on our "little" CU ( cu = ass, it's not litteraly an ass, it's our canteen ) a nightmare burst into my mind! TELETUBBIES *insert extremely long face here*
OK OK, i haven't seen an entire episode yet, so i can't talk much about them, but then again, who can resist seeing/listening five times in a row what they have to say? Are they retarded? Are they calling us retarded? Blow me Tinky-winky...
Then, another thought occurred to me... do they like sex? it's a little difficult coz i haven't seen yet any defined sexuality on any of them ( except maybe the gay one ). So wich one is male? Or female? Or both? *cheers cheers on the background, coz this last one can have all the pleasures he wants, and even play with himself without catching any sexual transmited disease...
Still i'm wondering... how would it be like to rip open a teletubbie? Are they full of cotton? Do they feel any pain? Do they get excited with pain?...
I'll not continue this dissertion on teletubbies coz this is getting extremely annoing !

Now, this is a quote from a person i met today for the first time:
"Love is like fresh toilet paper"
Isn't he such a deep person? What conclusion do you little kids take from here? DO NOT LOVE! FUCK ALL YOU WANT! ( and all you don't want... Just fuck really! )

*Fuck, Beta-male, teletubbies (c)ereal killer.... *

"uh yeah baby, give it to me! hard and steady!!"

2004-11-17T15:46:00.000Z

No! It wasn’t me!! Nor Fuck, believe it or not!! Actually when you’re sitting home in your cosy little living room watching TV the last thing you expect to see once you turn to channel Odyssey is uncensored porn involving seven (or so) male individuals and an empty bottle of beer… yeap! I and Fuck were both astonished for we had never seen something so cruel… poor empty bottle of beer…! It was inhuman just as well, since the male individuals who were performing the act, were… yellow beetles!!! Fortunately we discovered the reason why they were crazed about that huge yellow HOTTT (!) beer bottle. Well, the thing is, the female yellow beetle is several times bigger than the males and, you know what they say! The bigger the better!! Since the males are so little, I believe there’s no such thing as a faggot beetle (I know, I know, this was an unnecessary comment BUT I HAD TO LET IT OUT!!).

Are you a beer bottle? Are you being sexually harassed by a bunch of jumpy horny beetles?... enjoy! You go girl!

Are you an old bottle? Do you not feel sexy anymore? Are you in need of a good humpin'... call us! Fuck will be glad to do the humpin' (can't say if it's good or not, never tried it, never wanted to try it!).

Having said that, I now think that someone should come up with a line of sexy lingerie designed for beer bottles! All in yellow, of course!

I think we can count this one as one point against recycling… there had to be something!

(Even though I’m amongst the most intelligent, clever, witty and so on and so forth people of the planet *hahahahaha!!!*, I must say I can’t state a plausible explanation for the fact that they were trying to stick it in the bottom of the bottle – as you’re well aware of, the hole’s on the other end. ARE THERE SUCH THINGS AS BLONDE BEETLES?? Duh!)

BITE ME ASSHOLES!! =)

*Dumb, THE INIMITABLE ALPHA-MALE (aka the human forehead)*

Megalomania

2004-11-17T12:11:00.000Z

Intergalactic salutes to any fucking retards who might be reading this piece of shit I'm trying to write down right now!!

Enjoy your miserable insignificant lives in this planet of yours in which a remain of intelligent life still prevails (but not for long though, I'm thinking of moving out of the Solar System... you know... get a life of my own or something, somewhere in a black ho... ho... HOLE!!! sorry, there seemed to be something stuck in my throat. NO IT WAS NOT A FUR BALL!)!!

Just so you all know, the ALPHA-MALE!! (which is me, myself and I, OBVIOUSLY - regardeless of any disfiguring comments of a somewhat STOOPID person...)... where the bloody fuck was I? Oh!:

THE ALPHA-MALE RULES!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!! DIE, NERDS, DIIIIEEE!!!!!

Ok, now that i got that off my chest... just wanna get one thing straightened out!! I'm not fat! I'm big boned!! You fucking teases!

*Dumb, the IRREFUTABLY MEGALOMANIAC ALPHA-MALE. Bow down to me bitches!*

Hmmmm, where to start... yes, i'm a fucking retard, but at least I FUCK! are u thinking of moving to a black hole? where the sun don't shine? have u already asked Bitch permission? oh sorry... the sun already shines there...As to something stuck on your throat... i'm pretty sure it wasn't a fur ball *cof cof* ( u should stop sucking so much...... ice cream :P )
off your chest? WHAT CHEST?!?!?!?!?!

Done here =)

*Fuck, the single most fucking person on this planet and all the UNIVERSE!!!*

YEAHYEAHYEAH!!! GOOD FOR U! we all know you fuck, we've all heard you!! (some people claim to have seen you too, but! it has never been prooven!). As for the sucking!!... Haven't got any complaints so far!

Were you referring to my chest?? what chest?? D-Cup... :o)

*Dumb, THE UNDENIABLE ALPHA-MALE (for more inf on my chest please dial 555-KISS MY WHITE SHINY ASS!!!)*

Yeah Dumb you're the only one (NOT) that doesn't fuck! So, take that you megalomaniac pervert! :P

As for if the sun does or doesn't shine, yes I confess...
The vaccuum is all gone by now! Weeee!
Well, I just have something to add...
No fucking... Is fucking my brains... and there ya go Dumb... Liked your post ;)

[edit] By the way, just so you know what size of a forehead we're talking about when mentioning Dumb here's a photo for ya!

Yes, our blog has photos now! Be afraid! Be very afraid!

*Bitch, Tao-female, cat (aka the sex addicted)*

Quote of the Day ~ 16.11.04

2004-11-16T23:58:00.000Z

Como à alguns dias que nao aparecem novas "quotes of the day" e os nosso caros "ouvintes" devem começar a achar estranho, e a preocupar-se ao pensar que já não somos os mesmos demented. Resolvi (e como não sou auto-suficiente q.b. para tomar essas iniciativas, vou
"levar na Boca" ou como kem diz, vou ser esmurrada que nem uma batata!!) colocar das melhores de hoje.

Mas continuando o que interessa, ou não (vai-se la saber...), nao aula de Fisiologia Animal, em que se ouvia falar de hormonas, e o tópico da altura era ocitosina (que até interessa saber (para o caso... de resto :s ) que é a hormona que comanda o "vazamento" de leite nos seios na amamentação).

Ao nao perceber se os homens também o tinham, pergunto à Eediot: "Os homens afinal têm ou não?!"
Ao que ela me responde toda "excitada" (sim porque ao estarmos numa aula de fisiologia, aka potencialogia, é normal o uso do termo)

"Sim os Homens também têm mamas!!! Mas nao se sabe para que servem (repetindo o profe)"
Espantada (=O) por a resposta fugir ao que perguntava nem comento...
Enquanto ela continua:
"Eu acho que é para enfeitar....

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pircings. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . chantilly. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

:o

Com a espupfacção geral vêm:
"Eu hoje nao existo" -> Eediot

e a gargalhada, ora claro está!

*by The One they call Nag, Psi female, me Nélia*

This is my paper on bolinhas de cotão!!!

2004-11-16T15:31:00.000Z

After all the years I've spent not cleaning under my bed, I've come to the conclusion that I, THE IRREFUTABLE ALPHA-MALE (!) own the one and only CITY HOLLYWOOD OF BOLINHAS DE COTÃO (if you don't know what they are, try peeking under yours just before you fall asleep!! no, I'm not paranoid! Just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they're not after you!).

I dare to state here that bolinhas de cotão are the most demented and obscene creatures (apart from us, obviously) of the UNIVERSE!!! (and no, I'm not dumb!!!) Yes! For all babies bolinhas de cotão are not the sons and daughters of their daddies bolinhas de cotão, since all the mummies bolinhas de cotão mate (copulate or more commonly: FUCK) with all the mailsmen bolinhas de cotão and bakers bolinhas de cotão while their husbands bolinhas de cotão (aka daddies bolinhas de cotão) are out haunting all the bedrooms full of bolinhas de cotão, such as mine. Beat the logic bitches!!!

F**K THEE ALL!

*DUMB, THE INCONTESTABLE ALPHA MALE!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!*

Nag's biography

2004-11-16T01:08:00.000Z

Ey!
I’m Nag!!
First of all you need to know that I’m not really nag, and boring, or annoying, and all that kind of stuffs that really don’t combines with me (ok, I get excited, and exaggerated a bit, but is almost real :p). How can a Psy female be grey? Being nag and Psy(co), at same time?! Impossible (or not... but it isn't so important)!! I’m not nag!
I’m not nag!!
This demented people only want somebody to blame when all is just apathy.
Chaaaaange my naaaaame!! (Naughty let’s do a letter, and complain!).

Bêm, steep going, I’m the one that don’t know ponta about inglish [:p] (como ja voces se fartaram de comentar) so I want you all se lixem e vou escrever em portuguese!!

Mwuahahaha you bitch friends!

E pronto agora k já posso começar a escrever livremente….

Pois….

E k digo mais??!

Enfim não tenho mais nada a dizer…

*I’m not nag, Psi female, englishfobika or just Liazita :p*

Eediot's biography

2004-11-15T21:43:00.000Z

Hey! Let’s go talk about me! ... nop, not that I like to do it!
You remember Fuck telling everyone he was the most innocent of us all? NO!... I’m the one!
I’m an Angel…! I say it all the time but no one seems to believe me… :’(
Do you know what it's like? Imagine a beautiful and innocent little girl with a pair of little white wings on her back and a big shiny halo on her head… yeah! That’s me! But since I like animals a lot and my halo reminds me of a ring. Well, I generally use it to play fetch with doggies! You know that old game in which you throw something away so that they’ll get it and return it to you…! Well! It’s in that short span, during which the dog runs to get the halo, catches it and gets it back that… oops… that I forget (… but it’s really just for a little while…!) of the little angel I am… and… that’s when I say those idiot things…!...BUT I’M AN ANGEL!!! (I use the little horns to bear the halo and the red tail is just stylish!!)

*Eediot, Iota-female, Rakel*

Erm, Fuck, have you been tampering with the controls again? How many times have I told you, no turning on Rakel's nobs! It doesn't make her horny in the normal sense! God I'm sorrounded by Eediot's and Fuck(ing) perverts! Ah, isn't the world beautiful? :P

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Nill, Soon to be dead if I can't find a hiding place from her. I'm scared!*

Another Absolutely Fabulastic [Real] Story

2004-11-15T21:38:00.000Z

It was just me and her... She is beautiful, green eyes, long waved red hair, body close to perfectness... I look into her eyes.... she looks into mine... we lock each other gaze feeling completely amazed... all our muscles start to tremble and then suddenly tense up... we are reaching our moment, THE MOMENT.
All we have done was for this moment alone, when our bodies can burst out and then relax... it was it, it was it... but then...WHY did i have to stare at her boobs??? arghhhhhhhhh

i lost another eye staring contest....

*FUCK, THE ONE AND ONLY BETA-MALE*

dumb's biography

2004-11-15T21:11:00.000Z

In the beginning I was massive amount of matter crushed into a particle just about the size of a pinhead. Then there was a Big Bang. You know the rest of it.

I'm still a dumbass pinhead though.

Wanna clear a couple of things up: Stoopid was not the driving force of my creation, I refuse to relate myself to him!! NEVER, YOU HEAR ME?!! Secondly I AM THE ALPHA MALE!!! If you wanna argue about it bring it on! i can take you!

*Dumb, the ALPHA MALE (don't listen to Stoopid, the doctors told us not to
contradict him), aka èlçia *

Yeah right, of course you can! We'll discuss it tonight. Your turn to stay on the bottom though. As for me not being the driving force of her creation, well you know kids and their denial states right? She'll grow over it. Either that or it'll be beaten out of her. Worst part really is that she might enjoy the second alternative! She's crazy that one, demented I tell you. But then again, who isn't? ;D

*Stoopid, THE Alpha-Male, Nill, wet willie applyer*

nine's BIOgraphy

2004-11-15T01:23:00.000Z

Once upon a time, they were nine normal (not yet demented) people who have chosen to be biologists in fcul not knowing that their lifes would never be the same...

The nine started with only 3 of us...Stoopid, Bitch and Eediot...

At the begining of second semester in fcul, demention reached it's high form... Together, the nine inocent people (cof cof), Stoopid, Bitch, Eediot, Fuck, Dumb, Kinky, Silent(ly Evil), Nag and Naughty, who were normal before looked now insane...

Two years of depravedness, madness and......... fluffyness lol...... rambóia dinners, nights like no others (as Silent(ly Evil) would say_ "uuuuu"),... even classes were fun...

By this time we decided to assume our demention by publishing it...

We created our demented blog...... to our demented friends.... YOU PEOPLE!!!

*nAughty, teta-female or... risA!

Why mus I always be the hystorical consultant? It started with ONE, not THREE! Because it started with me!!!! All the dementation came from me!!!! That's why I'm know as the ... FATHER! MWUAHAHAHAH! And whom so ever calls me a megalomaniac is going to get trouted! For those of you who do not know I do therapy at the MA. I will discuss it at a later time. Now, I'll have to go and take over the worl.... I mean desktop! Geez, frickin pills must be faultering again

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Nill, Future Ruler of the WOR... erm Desktop!*

... Don't read if u don't want to... [Almost ] Real Story

2004-11-13T01:15:00.000Z

Well well well, just the other day, when I was walking and walking without any obvious destination, I came upon a house that was not big nor small, colorless, odorless, tasteless, .... well u get the picture...When I entered the main door, there was a man in front of me... He was big, in his thirties, he was shirtless, and he has a defined body... When I closed the door he started looking at me in a lascivious way... I said "Hi" and he answered me. We got acquainted... we then got to the adjacent room, and I started getting my clothes off and getting on the ... When I was all relaxed, he started entering me slowly... first was the tip... and then when all the head was inside me I started to feel such an intense pain... it was like a thousand needles sticking my whole body... I cried out loud "NO! STOP IT!", but then a sudden thought came to me: " It was I who wanted to experience new things, now I must get this to the end!" and I allowed him to get to the very core of me... He soon ended his work and stick it out of me ( just when I was starting to enjoy this new sensation ) ... I payed him and got out of the house, still I heard him cry out to me " Come back whenever you want!"...

well, someday I'll do a piercing again!

*Fuck, Beta-Male, Ruler of the Universe and all your behinds!!!!!*

Well all I can say is wtf? I mean HELLO? Everybody knows pearcing houses aren't blend! Their holes for the most debases creatures on earth and offer free beer! I should know, I own one.... Oh that reminds if you think your not cool and have enough cash, just hop down there and I'll pierce you myself! Remember, hos and booze are free in the first one (only the first them minutes so you better be quick) Huge discounts on groups of the under aged.

Now where was I? Oh destroying Fuck's little world as per usual. Right, getting on track with that, what else can I really say? C'mon, we call the guy Fuck, can't you guys get a hint? If you see him on the streets somewhere ran! He'll probably chew a part of you of or have crazy demented sex with you or if you're (un)lucky both. One thing you can do to save yourself from such debauchery is, always carry a chainsaw! This weird creature will not shag anything that cannot walk on its on. So basically sheep are ok, worms will not be done, but seastars are stil screwable!

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Gui, The bringer of doom to Fuck's little life, yet how writes meaningful phrases on windows because... well that's none of your fucking business!!!!!!*

Quote of the Day ~ 12.11.04

2004-11-12T15:06:00.000Z

Our second Quote of the Day comes (AGAIN!) from the one and only:
The Silent One! (with the help of Kinky... but who cares?!)
Ok, so picture this...
During our Animal Biology I class, while the Prof babbled away about sponges, Kinky decided to ask Silent(ly Evil) why hadn't she studied for Animal Bio. I. since she'd failed (Mwuahahahahah!) ...
The answer, which will be mentioned further down the line, was so... EXTRAORDINARY, AMAZING, BOMBASTIC and CINE XL... Oops, wrong blog... Ermmm... where was I?
Ah right... the answer was sooooo *insert all of the above* that it yearned the magnificent title of Quote of the Day.

So... you all want to know what it was riiiiiight? (NOT!)

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Ok, enough already... The answer was: ... I forgot... ermm... help? :(

"Epá tava demasiado ocupada a chumbar a Celular..." -> Silent
"Contigo são só pearls of wisdom..." -> Kinky
"Sim, sim... I spit pearls of wisdom! Ptui, ptui..." -> Silent *insert bored face*

("Well, ya know, I was too busy flunking Cellular Biology." -> Silent
"You're all pearls of wisdom..." -> Kinky
"Yeah yeah, I spit pearls of wisdom. Ptew, ptew..." -> Silent *insert bored face*)

And that's all folks! ih ih ih... It wasn't funny was it? Darn it... :'(

*Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*

Last minute news!!!

Errar uma vez é humano,
errar duas é americano!

(One mistake is human,
Two mistakes is american! -> Soz to all our american friends... =) )

*Nag, Psi-female, Lia*

Quote of the Day ~ 11.11.04

2004-11-11T23:59:00.000Z

Ok, last post of the day...

And our first actual Quote of the Day comes from the Silent One! *cheers in backgrond*

And so here it goes...
This happened during an Ecology class, in which Fuck (being the exemplar student he is) turned to Silent and blurted out (god knows why...)
"Carla sua Porca!" ("Carla you dirty girl!")
At which she responded by saying:
" Sim, eu sou uma grande PORCA!" ("Yes, I'm very DIRTY!")

And so it was... Another great lesson about bentonic and placton organisms stained by the depraved minds of those two perverts!

Hope yo've enjoyed our first day! Feel free to leave your comments... Signed please ;)

*Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*

Strap-ons... Oops... Add-ons to Quotes of the Day!

2004-11-11T23:49:00.000Z

Well, as you all (sniff no-one-comes-here sniff) noticed, our cute little blog was created today, so we've all been pretty histerical about it. (I'm sure it will go away in a few... millions of...hundreds of... decades...)

And so, we've been collecting every quote that we can remember to post it here...

Here are a few more that we've come up till now...
Do not fear (or do!)! More will certainly follow!

1. The Classic: China Cabra, Morre Puta! -> By Stoopid
("Chinate Bitch, Die Whore!")

2. Everything that has a pulse is Lunch! Yumi! -> Fuck

3. You'd be yumi in my tummy... -> Kinky

4. Go, suck your blade! -> Silent(ly Evil)

5. Pretty please with a cherry on top? -> Fuck ( while doing puppy eyes)

6. Pretty please with melted chocolate on top? -> Bitch (smirking)

7. Slow and circular... slow and circular... -> Kinky, while rubbing slow circules on Bitch's arm...

8. Bombing for peace, is like fucking for Virginity! -> Fuck

9. Say ya like it Bitch! Say it! -> Kinky, while furiously spanking Bitch on her ass...

10. Eu sou um coelho branco... -> Kinky and Dumb (note: they were force to say it by Stoopid of course!)
(I'm a white rabbit...)

11. a) Put it where the sun doesn't shine!
b) At night, there's no sun... 'Cause someone stole it!
c) And they've hidden it somewhere for it to shine!
Conclusion: At night there's a piece of sun up all our asses! -> By Kinky and Bitch (in the middle of a genetics' class)

And that's all folks!

*Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*

Mort and Handcuffs

2004-11-11T22:26:00.000Z

I was about to study chemistry when a thought occurred to me...Why does the Mort ( Death ) have to be color-blinded?? Why does it have no imagination?And the most important question: why does it have a horse named Binky??Why the fuck ( me :) ) Binky? Could be THE AVENGER, or Esfincter Horse, or even Rectum Wrecter...But no.... his name is Binky!! what the Hell??

trivial Fact: Do you know that it was the Portuguese people who invented the Portuguese Pump?( stop staring at me... I'm the MOST innocent one here... )

whips, whips, whips, whips.... LOL
I'm a little tired of whips really, HANDCUFFS TIME!!HHEHEHEHHEHEH

Maybe Mort would like to play with my handcuffs...

Important poll: Have you already had sex with a dead person/animal/whatever ?

*Fuck, THE BETA-MALE*

Aula de Genética / genetics Class

2004-11-11T20:51:00.000Z

So, we were happily talking about linkage (if you don't know, don't ask) and Mr. Spock's future progeny with a earthling, when Bitch touched Fuck's leg and exclaimed (loudly) "Ó Zé, és tão duro!" ("Zé, you're so hard!").
Now this particular episode deserves an explanation since Bitch is a married potatoe. What happened was: when she unintentionally touched Fuck's leg, she found his mobile phone...*cof cof*

Carrying on, in the middle of problem number 16 (about a hemophilic female rabbit and her partner, a tailless male rabbit), our genetics Professor (aka blue nosed pervert) blurted out:
"... ignoramos as fêmeas... Tipo Mr. Gay... E não é que vi ontem o homem? Felizmente ele não me viu.."
"E ainda falam de nós..." -> Kinky
"Decididamente os nossos Profs não regulam..." -> Silent(ly Evil)
("... so we ignore the female... Just like Mr. Gay... And didn't I saw the man yesterday? Thankfully he didn't see me..."
"And they talk about us..." -> Kinky
"Without a doubt our Profs are wackos")->Silent(ly Evil))

Further down the row of desks, Kinky was whispering to Silent (while bowing):
"Eu venero-te Carlia..." -> Kinky
"Venera-me, venera-me" -> Silent (with a megalomaniac smile splashed across her face)
"Só não te posso lamber os sapatos porque não estou em posição..." -> Kinky (drooling)
"Não obrigado. Ias-me sujar os ténis, e eu não gosto..." -> Silent

(" I worship you Carlia" -> Kinky
" Worship me, worship me..." -> Silent (with a megalomaniac smile splashed across her face)
"I just can't lick you're shoes, 'cause I'm not in position..." -> Kinky (drooling)
" No thanks. You'd drool my sneakers and I don't like that..." -> Silent)

While that was hapenning, Fuck, who was actually paying attention to the actual class, yelled (in response to a one of the Genetics' Professor answer):
"69!!!!!" (we rest our case).

And that was the end of another crazy Genetics' class, where you learn everything... except genetics!

* Kinky, omega-male/female, guida, kika *

Well, well, kinky you forgot to mention our favorite hobby in Genetics' class...
Me and Kinky have a hobby during the class... Instead of paying attention to our teacher, we like to watch/learn how to PERFECTLY suck on a pencil, or a pen, or even o the fingers, coz we have a friend ( cof cof ) who just has an oral fixation....

*Fuck, THE BETA-MALE*

Oral fixation? Now wtf is that supposed to mean? Just because I'm loud doesn't mean I have an oral fixation!!! Zé on the other hand chews on everything he sees. Not the healthiest of habbits if you ask me! Sure it was fun the first eight or nine times, but after a few hundreads, it gets old seeing him come out of the room chewing on something you have no idea what it is, to have to some random girl ran out yelling "Give me my nipple back you pervert!" I mean, HELLO? You've got another one, what's all the fuss about?

Oh, I seem to deviate, we were talking on genetics right? Have no idea what it is like, since I bail all the time, but that's a different story, for a different day children. Time to feed Fluffy now. Any body have some spare limbs? :D

*Stoopid, The One and ONLY Alpha-Male, Future.... blah blah blah you all know this crap by now right?*

Fuck's Biography

2004-11-11T16:43:00.000Z

Hi! this is my first post here...
What can i say about me....
I'm cute.... eat me?? OH and I'm also cute, and cute, and ...... PUFFY??
.....
I remember now! I'm also the Powerful Master of All the Reality and ..... Beyoncé!!! ooopsss Behind!!!oopppppssss Beyond!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=)

*Fuck, THE BETA-MALE*

Ok, for starters! YOU ARE NOT CUTE!!! GET OVER IT!!!
As for the Puffy part... I shall not comment...

And please, please, pretty please!!! Stop listening to f**king Beyoncé!! It's.... ARGHHHH!!!
Well, that's all... No more comments about your biography from me...

Oh, I forgot to mention... Fuck is also the single most depressing individual on the face of this Earth!

That's all Folks! See ya!

*Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*

Hmm what can I say about Fuck? Well it's wonderful! You know just let the imagination fly and...

Ooops wrong kinda of fuck! I was even picturing Kinky here, but You don't, I'll say it again, DON'T wanna picture that!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day Fuck was aborted, erm I mean born was truly magical! Finally someone managed to end the Salvado dynasty! Wee no more of those around here, but you all got that from the behind part right? Ok ok I'm joking the man's a virtual stud! He's got more kids lying around than Mahatma Ghandi and I don't mean on tissue alone!!!!

Well just to finish this up, what can you say besides, who DOESN'T love a great Fuck? Especially if it's cute and puffy and edible! :P Ooops wrong Fuck again, I really oughta be careful where I stick... my opinion!!!! Ero!!!!!!!

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Gui, Future Ruler of the World! Or at least a small country with loads of 'censured'*

I forgot to mention my likes and dislikes...
So Fuck likes: WHIPS, chains, folds..... oopps!!! blindfolds... hmmm did I mention whips??
Fuck dislikes: normal sex.... except when it is with twisted individuals (note: by individual I mean someone or something that can already walk ) or with a lot of people.....
when I remember something else I'll put it here...

*Fuck, THE BETA-MALE*

How to domesticate him well

2004-11-11T16:32:00.000Z

Well... It´s simple. You just need to Knock him out with anestisiacs, tie him to a board, open him up and say: lay down! Play dead!
Of course, this occured in a animal physiology class, and the subject was a white mouse... (eheheh) . But you can try it on other things, and ocasions (except the opening part...).

By Silent (ly Evil)

Yeah yeah yeah, I can hear all you PETA freaks complaining now, how we are so cruel and mean hearted et all. But, just to show you we are nice people, I'll tell you what happens to the mouse after class is over! What do you think we do, Kill it and throw in the garbage bin? WRONG! We kill it and store it in the freezer for later use aka anatomy study next class. Now aren't we animal loving and civilized? Well ok, so you can say some of us are too animal looving *gives Bitch and Fuck a weird look before moving on* but hey no one is perfect and since this is our blog, I don't really care what you think :D

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Gui, mouse carver. Want your name made out of mice gut? Only 4.99€!*

Frases do Dia (compilação) / Quotes of the day (compilation)

2004-11-11T15:43:00.000Z

Since this little group has been spreading havoc for more than a year, we've decided to post here a short (or not...) compilation of the most annoying, pervert, demented and deeeeeep quotes that have passed through our innocent little mouths.

1. "You're not straight, you're twisteeeed" -> Kinky to Fuck.

2. "A Margarida tá a precisar de um graaaande... tau-tau!" -> Silent(ly Evil) to Kinky
( "Guida is in need of a biiiiiig... spanky-spanky!")

3. "Lá está... Fixação com Bolas!" - Silent(ly Evil) about Biostatistics Professor (aka The Depraved One)
(" There ya go... Obsession with Balls!")

4. "O amor quebra todas as barreiras... E a primeira delas... é o hímen! Ou o esfincter anal... Ou os collants... Ou as amigdalas..." -> Dumb to her mother (at the dinner table)
(Love breaks all barriers... And the first one... is the hymen! Or the anal sphincter... Or the pantyhose... Or the tonsils...")

5. "Zé, põe os penduricalhos para dentro!" -> Everyone to Fuck (on various occasions...)
("Zé, put away your dangling-thingys!")

6. " Margarida, tás aqui tas a levar! -> Bitch to Kinky
Yes... pleaaaaseee!" -> Kinky to Bitch
("Margarida, do that again and I'll spank ya!
Yes... pleaaaaseee!")

7. "A Rebelo é uma cabra sexy! Eu piscava-lhe o olho... se soubesse!" -> Nag regarding Chemistry Professor (aka the Lesbian Freak)
(" Rebelo is a sexy bitch! I'd wink at her... if I knew how!")

8. "Le filssss... du DEMOOONNN!!! " -> Kinky to Stoopid
(gotta imagine an angry dwarf yelling at your face to get the whole experience...)
note Kinky is not a dwarf, of course (she's threatening me... I'm afraid... *sniff sniff*)

9. "Ou apanhamos ali à frente no cu de judas ou então aqui atrás!" -> Dumb to everyone regarding a bus...*cof cof*
("We either get it up ahead, or in the back!")

10. "Hi, I'm cute. Eat me!" -> Fuck to Everyone (short version)

11. "Hi, I'm shy. Eat me now!" -> Nag to Everyone (long version)

12. " A Elsa é a causa de todo o mal no mundo! Ontem à noite comeu uma batata a mais, e por isso morreram 10 mil pessoas à fome na Etiópia" -> Stoopid to Dumb
("Elsa is the cause for all evil in the world! Last night she ate an extra potatoe at dinner, and therefore 10 thousand people died of hunger in Ethiopia!")

13. "Eu sou uma batata casada." -> By Bitch
("I'm a married potatoe!")

14. "Eu sou uma batata encalhada." -> By Dumb
("I'm a stuck potatoe!")

15. "Eu sou um saco de batatas encalhado. Ó pra mim a rolar!" -> By Stoopid about Dumb
("I'm a bag of stuck potatoes. Look at me rolling!")

16. "Eu sou uma batata a murro!" -> By Dumb
("I'm a punched potatoe!")

17. "Margarida, tu és o meu tumor!" -> Fuck to Kinky
("Margarida, you're my tumor!")

18. "π x π / π' ≈ -3 " -> By Eediot

19. " Parar é gromar..." -> By Dumb (while pissed drunk)
(" To Stop is to barf!")

20. "A Elsa fala demais... Logo, falta de sexo. A Carlia fala de menos... Logo... O que é que isso nos diz sobre a Carlia? Hmmm...Sua ganda maluka. Sua doida!" -> Nag/Bitch/Naughty about Dumb and Silent(ly Evil)
("Elsa talks too much... Therefore, lack of sex. Carlia is always silent... Therefore... What does that tells us about Carlia? Hmmm... You crazy you! Insane!")

*Compiled by Bitch, Kinky, Nag, Naughty, Silent(ly Evil), Fuck and Eediot!*

Introduction to the Demented Nine

2004-11-11T13:10:00.000Z

Well... Where to start...
Let's begin at the beginning then? ;)

In the beginning there was nothing...
It was all blackness... with little green spots... and little blue spots... and little red spots... and... nevermind, where were we? Ah right...
And then the 9 appeared...
With their demented little heads (expect for Dumb who has the biggest forehead of them all...ih ih ih), and their little black shrinked twisted hearts.

And so this demented blog was born...

Now let's introduce ourselves:

The father: Stoopid, Alpha-male, or more commonly known as Gui!
The uncle: Fuck, Beta-male, or just Zé...(n)
The (Adopted) Daughters:
Bitch, Tau-female or me! (Cat)
Nag, Psi-female aka Lia!
Naughty, teta-female or just risA...
Kinky, Omega-female/male (aka hermaphrodite), Guida!
Eediot, Iota-female, Raquel...
Silent(ly Evil), Lambda-female, Carlia!
Dumb, still competing for the Alpha-male position with Stoopid, aka Elsa!

And there ya go... This is our little family...
Aren't we cute? :P Or not...

So, I'll say my goodbyes now, leaving a small message: (not sms, you addicts!)

The Demented minds are coming...
And with them a wave of depravedness, darkness and...Fluffiness! *giggles giggles*

Be afraid, be very afraid!
The beginning of the end is starting!

Mwuahahahaha...

*By Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*

Wel this is all very nice and dandy but INCORRECT in the hystorical view point! What they meant was not "And Puff the nine appeared" but instead "Puff and our great father was made out of the Void and with his manly and powerful hands sculptured our puny forms out of nothingness." And THEN the nine were made! No that all this is made correct, you may resume the ritual sacrifices. But no virgins! Frickin wasters...

*By Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Gui, Creator of the know Universe, because those damn spots/balls were mine to begin with!*