oh coffee machine... oooohhh coffee machiiine!! *multiple bows and reverences* - tribute to our favorite coffee machine

note: when i said reverences, i actually meant chicken dancing around the machine and/or islamic praying sequence (alternating bottoms up-down)

ok, so here is, for the first time, a post on the one who keeps us awake throughout the days... our very favorite... coffee machine!! As you know (or maybe not), we, the demented nine have found our lair in the dark, arid 1st floor of the C1 complex of our beloved FCUL. yes! our very own wet, full of fungi BASEMENT (this is the sweeet name)!! TA DAAAA!! so nice... as you must be aware of, since classes are so fucking boring, we, as students *cof cof*, need large amounts os coffee to stay awake through all those neverending hours we spend skipping'em... in C1; most of the time not giving a fuck about anything whatsoever.
the logical line of thinking would be something like:... it's a college... has lots of students... all of them have dull square classes... all of them need cafeine (except for kinky, who's hystery.. hum hum, hyperactive on her own. the rest of us are just a bunch of normal coffeeholics)... which leads to a massive number os such machines spread all the way through the various complexes. but this particular one is simply special!! that is not just a coffee machine, that is THE coffee machine!! which is why we wanted it to know how important it is to us... WE LOVE YOU C1'S COFEE MACHINE!!! you rule!!! (even more than the fungi which i, for one, think are extremely cool).

apart from the fact that the coffee expelled from it's hole is extremely efficient, this machine has one more characteristic that makes it unique: where else would you find a coffee machine so loving that everytime you inserted the right amount of coins into the right slot, followed by the gentle pressing of the right button would wish you to allow yourself a moment of relax?? this one does!!

also, for all those who are interested in alien life forms, we have a newsflash on that too. related to our cofee machine, of course. but, unfortunately, since along with being one of the demented nine i also am a russian spy working for the FBI and CIA (lol), i couldn't possibly tell you that according to what we (don't) think, our beloved cofee machine is no less that the home of a couple of aliens come from the planet Zamitron (yes, the same one in which the newly discovered sub-atomic particle Zamitronon was first found!). if you don't believe me you can check out for yourself!! check the pisture below!! see the shadows? need more proof??

we have also noticed that one of them is black and the other is albino - who do you think provides the cofee and the milk?? hencefore, that tasty cofee which we're so addicted to (JUNKIES!! WEEEE!!) is, in fact, the liquid excrementary matter of both (or one at a time, whatever!! though it's not fair that way!!). due to the several concentrations of the mentioned fluids, the various drinks available (long/short cofee, cappuccino, moccaccino, lemon tea (who wants to take a guess at what that's made out of?! lol), blah, blah, blah) differ greatly in taste, color, thickness, and obviously, amount of froth on the top (UUhhh, nice - balls in old spice HAHAHA!!, ok, no, cut it out! STOP IT!! *slappin' myself*).

actually there is, in fact another theory... researches have shown that the button pressing movement can be pretty exciting sooo... maybe the fluids aren't exactly excrementary, know what i mean? *insert sardonic grin here* GOD, why must i be such a pervert?? now i'll never be able to drink out of it again!!! Urghh!

(HAHA! as if i could make a normal living without it!)

by the way, our two aliens need to be named!! since we can't call them tweedeldee and tweedeldum (sorry, already taken!! yep!! they're the pseudonyms of bitch's boobs), we need to come up with something more outgoing... suggestions accepted!!

*dumb, the one and only dumbass forehead*