Thursday, November 18, 2004

Ai Joelssia, Joelssia...

By this time I think you should all be informed that I, the ALPHA-MALE!! am to be the father of a beautiful (if it doesn’t look like me…) girl/boy/whatever, whose mother is Joel (I’m not aloud to say that he's on my class, and that he is also form that beautiful town on the verge of being swallowed by the sea, called Marinha Grande CITY CAPITAL OF HOLLYWOOD). I should refer to the way the pregnancy began, since it’s obvious that no fertile part of my body was in touch with any of his’ (as far as I can remember!). The thing is, Joel (aka Méléka (Meia-Leca) Prateada or even Action Man – the greatest hero of'em all!) is extremely small and thin (probably about as large as ¼ of myself) and… I know you’ll all find this very cold-hearted but… I… I… *snif*snif*






… the thing is…





…well!...




…I kind of…




…sort of…




Ok! I confess!!!! I FED THE BLOODY GUY A SMINT!!! And he swallowed it!! Now we're gonna have a (female) hybrid: JOELSSIA!!! (don’t you just love it?!) We were actually to have twins, but Stoopid killed the other one (Joelsson).




Ok, I admit, this was not funny… just wanted to share!!!!
As anyone figured out the thing about the beetles fucking the bottle on the back yet??

*Dumb, the uninspired ALPHA-MALE*

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

"uh yeah baby, give it to me! hard and steady!!"

No! It wasn’t me!! Nor Fuck, believe it or not!! Actually when you’re sitting home in your cosy little living room watching TV the last thing you expect to see once you turn to channel Odyssey is uncensored porn involving seven (or so) male individuals and an empty bottle of beer… yeap! I and Fuck were both astonished for we had never seen something so cruel… poor empty bottle of beer…! It was inhuman just as well, since the male individuals who were performing the act, were… yellow beetles!!! Fortunately we discovered the reason why they were crazed about that huge yellow HOTTT (!) beer bottle. Well, the thing is, the female yellow beetle is several times bigger than the males and, you know what they say! The bigger the better!! Since the males are so little, I believe there’s no such thing as a faggot beetle (I know, I know, this was an unnecessary comment BUT I HAD TO LET IT OUT!!).

Are you a beer bottle? Are you being sexually harassed by a bunch of jumpy horny beetles?... enjoy! You go girl!

Are you an old bottle? Do you not feel sexy anymore? Are you in need of a good humpin'... call us! Fuck will be glad to do the humpin' (can't say if it's good or not, never tried it, never wanted to try it!).

Having said that, I now think that someone should come up with a line of sexy lingerie designed for beer bottles! All in yellow, of course!




I think we can count this one as one point against recycling… there had to be something!

(Even though I’m amongst the most intelligent, clever, witty and so on and so forth people of the planet *hahahahaha!!!*, I must say I can’t state a plausible explanation for the fact that they were trying to stick it in the bottom of the bottle – as you’re well aware of, the hole’s on the other end. ARE THERE SUCH THINGS AS BLONDE BEETLES?? Duh!)

BITE ME ASSHOLES!! =)

*Dumb, THE INIMITABLE ALPHA-MALE (aka the human forehead)*

Megalomania

Intergalactic salutes to any fucking retards who might be reading this piece of shit I'm trying to write down right now!!

Enjoy your miserable insignificant lives in this planet of yours in which a remain of intelligent life still prevails (but not for long though, I'm thinking of moving out of the Solar System... you know... get a life of my own or something, somewhere in a black ho... ho... HOLE!!! sorry, there seemed to be something stuck in my throat. NO IT WAS NOT A FUR BALL!)!!

Just so you all know, the ALPHA-MALE!! (which is me, myself and I, OBVIOUSLY - regardeless of any disfiguring comments of a somewhat STOOPID person...)... where the bloody fuck was I? Oh!:




THE ALPHA-MALE RULES!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!! DIE, NERDS, DIIIIEEE!!!!!

Ok, now that i got that off my chest... just wanna get one thing straightened out!! I'm not fat! I'm big boned!! You fucking teases!

*Dumb, the IRREFUTABLY MEGALOMANIAC ALPHA-MALE. Bow down to me bitches!*

Hmmmm, where to start... yes, i'm a fucking retard, but at least I FUCK! are u thinking of moving to a black hole? where the sun don't shine? have u already asked Bitch permission? oh sorry... the sun already shines there...As to something stuck on your throat... i'm pretty sure it wasn't a fur ball *cof cof* ( u should stop sucking so much...... ice cream :P )
off your chest? WHAT CHEST?!?!?!?!?!

Done here =)

*Fuck, the single most fucking person on this planet and all the UNIVERSE!!!*

YEAHYEAHYEAH!!! GOOD FOR U! we all know you fuck, we've all heard you!! (some people claim to have seen you too, but! it has never been prooven!). As for the sucking!!... Haven't got any complaints so far!


Were you referring to my chest?? what chest?? D-Cup... :o)

*Dumb, THE UNDENIABLE ALPHA-MALE (for more inf on my chest please dial 555-KISS MY WHITE SHINY ASS!!!)*

Yeah Dumb you're the only one (NOT) that doesn't fuck! So, take that you megalomaniac pervert! :P

As for if the sun does or doesn't shine, yes I confess...
The vaccuum is all gone by now! Weeee!
Well, I just have something to add...
No fucking... Is fucking my brains... and there ya go Dumb... Liked your post ;)

[edit] By the way, just so you know what size of a forehead we're talking about when mentioning Dumb here's a photo for ya!

Yes, our blog has photos now! Be afraid! Be very afraid!

*Bitch, Tao-female, cat (aka the sex addicted)*






Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Quote of the Day ~ 16.11.04

Como à alguns dias que nao aparecem novas "quotes of the day" e os nosso caros "ouvintes" devem começar a achar estranho, e a preocupar-se ao pensar que já não somos os mesmos demented. Resolvi (e como não sou auto-suficiente q.b. para tomar essas iniciativas, vou
"levar na Boca" ou como kem diz, vou ser esmurrada que nem uma batata!!) colocar das melhores de hoje.

Mas continuando o que interessa, ou não (vai-se la saber...), nao aula de Fisiologia Animal, em que se ouvia falar de hormonas, e o tópico da altura era ocitosina (que até interessa saber (para o caso... de resto :s ) que é a hormona que comanda o "vazamento" de leite nos seios na amamentação).

Ao nao perceber se os homens também o tinham, pergunto à Eediot: "Os homens afinal têm ou não?!"
Ao que ela me responde toda "excitada" (sim porque ao estarmos numa aula de fisiologia, aka potencialogia, é normal o uso do termo)

"Sim os Homens também têm mamas!!! Mas nao se sabe para que servem (repetindo o profe)"
Espantada (=O) por a resposta fugir ao que perguntava nem comento...
Enquanto ela continua:
"Eu acho que é para enfeitar....

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . pircings. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . chantilly. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

:o

Com a espupfacção geral vêm:
"Eu hoje nao existo" -> Eediot

e a gargalhada, ora claro está!


*by The One they call Nag, Psi female, me Nélia*


This is my paper on bolinhas de cotão!!!

After all the years I've spent not cleaning under my bed, I've come to the conclusion that I, THE IRREFUTABLE ALPHA-MALE (!) own the one and only CITY HOLLYWOOD OF BOLINHAS DE COTÃO (if you don't know what they are, try peeking under yours just before you fall asleep!! no, I'm not paranoid! Just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they're not after you!).

I dare to state here that bolinhas de cotão are the most demented and obscene creatures (apart from us, obviously) of the UNIVERSE!!! (and no, I'm not dumb!!!) Yes! For all babies bolinhas de cotão are not the sons and daughters of their daddies bolinhas de cotão, since all the mummies bolinhas de cotão mate (copulate or more commonly: FUCK) with all the mailsmen bolinhas de cotão and bakers bolinhas de cotão while their husbands bolinhas de cotão (aka daddies bolinhas de cotão) are out haunting all the bedrooms full of bolinhas de cotão, such as mine. Beat the logic bitches!!!

F**K THEE ALL!

*DUMB, THE INCONTESTABLE ALPHA MALE!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!*

Nag's biography

Ey!
I’m Nag!!
First of all you need to know that I’m not really nag, and boring, or annoying, and all that kind of stuffs that really don’t combines with me (ok, I get excited, and exaggerated a bit, but is almost real :p). How can a Psy female be grey? Being nag and Psy(co), at same time?! Impossible (or not... but it isn't so important)!! I’m not nag!
I’m not nag!!
This demented people only want somebody to blame when all is just apathy.
Chaaaaange my naaaaame!! (Naughty let’s do a letter, and complain!).

Bêm, steep going, I’m the one that don’t know ponta about inglish [:p] (como ja voces se fartaram de comentar) so I want you all se lixem e vou escrever em portuguese!!

Mwuahahaha you bitch friends!


E pronto agora k já posso começar a escrever livremente….



Pois….


E k digo mais??!


Enfim não tenho mais nada a dizer…



*I’m not nag, Psi female, englishfobika or just Liazita :p*

Monday, November 15, 2004

Eediot's biography

Hey! Let’s go talk about me! ... nop, not that I like to do it!
You remember Fuck telling everyone he was the most innocent of us all? NO!... I’m the one!
I’m an Angel…! I say it all the time but no one seems to believe me… :’(
Do you know what it's like? Imagine a beautiful and innocent little girl with a pair of little white wings on her back and a big shiny halo on her head… yeah! That’s me! But since I like animals a lot and my halo reminds me of a ring. Well, I generally use it to play fetch with doggies! You know that old game in which you throw something away so that they’ll get it and return it to you…! Well! It’s in that short span, during which the dog runs to get the halo, catches it and gets it back that… oops… that I forget (… but it’s really just for a little while…!) of the little angel I am… and… that’s when I say those idiot things…!...BUT I’M AN ANGEL!!! (I use the little horns to bear the halo and the red tail is just stylish!!)


*Eediot, Iota-female, Rakel*

Erm, Fuck, have you been tampering with the controls again? How many times have I told you, no turning on Rakel's nobs! It doesn't make her horny in the normal sense! God I'm sorrounded by Eediot's and Fuck(ing) perverts! Ah, isn't the world beautiful? :P

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Nill, Soon to be dead if I can't find a hiding place from her. I'm scared!*

dumb's biography

In the beginning I was massive amount of matter crushed into a particle just about the size of a pinhead. Then there was a Big Bang. You know the rest of it.


I'm still a dumbass pinhead though.


Wanna clear a couple of things up: Stoopid was not the driving force of my creation, I refuse to relate myself to him!! NEVER, YOU HEAR ME?!! Secondly I AM THE ALPHA MALE!!! If you wanna argue about it bring it on! i can take you!

*Dumb, the ALPHA MALE (don't listen to Stoopid, the doctors told us not to
contradict him), aka èlçia *

Yeah right, of course you can! We'll discuss it tonight. Your turn to stay on the bottom though. As for me not being the driving force of her creation, well you know kids and their denial states right? She'll grow over it. Either that or it'll be beaten out of her. Worst part really is that she might enjoy the second alternative! She's crazy that one, demented I tell you. But then again, who isn't? ;D

*Stoopid, THE Alpha-Male, Nill, wet willie applyer*

nine's BIOgraphy

Once upon a time, they were nine normal (not yet demented) people who have chosen to be biologists in fcul not knowing that their lifes would never be the same...
The nine started with only 3 of us...Stoopid, Bitch and Eediot...
At the begining of second semester in fcul, demention reached it's high form... Together, the nine inocent people (cof cof), Stoopid, Bitch, Eediot, Fuck, Dumb, Kinky, Silent(ly Evil), Nag and Naughty, who were normal before looked now insane...
Two years of depravedness, madness and......... fluffyness lol...... rambóia dinners, nights like no others (as Silent(ly Evil) would say_ "uuuuu"),... even classes were fun...
By this time we decided to assume our demention by publishing it...
We created our demented blog...... to our demented friends.... YOU PEOPLE!!!
*nAughty, teta-female or... risA!

Why mus I always be the hystorical consultant? It started with ONE, not THREE! Because it started with me!!!! All the dementation came from me!!!! That's why I'm know as the ... FATHER! MWUAHAHAHAH! And whom so ever calls me a megalomaniac is going to get trouted! For those of you who do not know I do therapy at the MA. I will discuss it at a later time. Now, I'll have to go and take over the worl.... I mean desktop! Geez, frickin pills must be faultering again

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Nill, Future Ruler of the WOR... erm Desktop!*

Saturday, November 13, 2004

... Don't read if u don't want to... [Almost ] Real Story

Well well well, just the other day, when I was walking and walking without any obvious destination, I came upon a house that was not big nor small, colorless, odorless, tasteless, .... well u get the picture...When I entered the main door, there was a man in front of me... He was big, in his thirties, he was shirtless, and he has a defined body... When I closed the door he started looking at me in a lascivious way... I said "Hi" and he answered me. We got acquainted... we then got to the adjacent room, and I started getting my clothes off and getting on the ... When I was all relaxed, he started entering me slowly... first was the tip... and then when all the head was inside me I started to feel such an intense pain... it was like a thousand needles sticking my whole body... I cried out loud "NO! STOP IT!", but then a sudden thought came to me: " It was I who wanted to experience new things, now I must get this to the end!" and I allowed him to get to the very core of me... He soon ended his work and stick it out of me ( just when I was starting to enjoy this new sensation ) ... I payed him and got out of the house, still I heard him cry out to me " Come back whenever you want!"...

well, someday I'll do a piercing again!

*Fuck, Beta-Male, Ruler of the Universe and all your behinds!!!!!*

Well all I can say is wtf? I mean HELLO? Everybody knows pearcing houses aren't blend! Their holes for the most debases creatures on earth and offer free beer! I should know, I own one.... Oh that reminds if you think your not cool and have enough cash, just hop down there and I'll pierce you myself! Remember, hos and booze are free in the first one (only the first them minutes so you better be quick) Huge discounts on groups of the under aged.

Now where was I? Oh destroying Fuck's little world as per usual. Right, getting on track with that, what else can I really say? C'mon, we call the guy Fuck, can't you guys get a hint? If you see him on the streets somewhere ran! He'll probably chew a part of you of or have crazy demented sex with you or if you're (un)lucky both. One thing you can do to save yourself from such debauchery is, always carry a chainsaw! This weird creature will not shag anything that cannot walk on its on. So basically sheep are ok, worms will not be done, but seastars are stil screwable!

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Gui, The bringer of doom to Fuck's little life, yet how writes meaningful phrases on windows because... well that's none of your fucking business!!!!!!*

Friday, November 12, 2004

Quote of the Day ~ 12.11.04

Our second Quote of the Day comes (AGAIN!) from the one and only:
The Silent One! (with the help of Kinky... but who cares?!)
Ok, so picture this...
During our Animal Biology I class, while the Prof babbled away about sponges, Kinky decided to ask Silent(ly Evil) why hadn't she studied for Animal Bio. I. since she'd failed (Mwuahahahahah!) ...
The answer, which will be mentioned further down the line, was so... EXTRAORDINARY, AMAZING, BOMBASTIC and CINE XL... Oops, wrong blog... Ermmm... where was I?
Ah right... the answer was sooooo *insert all of the above* that it yearned the magnificent title of Quote of the Day.

So... you all want to know what it was riiiiiight? (NOT!)

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Ok, enough already... The answer was: ... I forgot... ermm... help? :(


"Epá tava demasiado ocupada a chumbar a Celular..." -> Silent
"Contigo são só pearls of wisdom..." -> Kinky
"Sim, sim... I spit pearls of wisdom! Ptui, ptui..." -> Silent *insert bored face*

("Well, ya know, I was too busy flunking Cellular Biology." -> Silent
"You're all pearls of wisdom..." -> Kinky
"Yeah yeah, I spit pearls of wisdom. Ptew, ptew..." -> Silent *insert bored face*)


And that's all folks! ih ih ih... It wasn't funny was it? Darn it... :'(


*Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*


Last minute news!!!

Errar uma vez é humano,
errar duas é americano!

(One mistake is human,
Two mistakes is american! -> Soz to all our american friends... =) )

*Nag, Psi-female, Lia*

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Quote of the Day ~ 11.11.04

Ok, last post of the day...

And our first actual Quote of the Day comes from the Silent One! *cheers in backgrond*

And so here it goes...
This happened during an Ecology class, in which Fuck (being the exemplar student he is) turned to Silent and blurted out (god knows why...)
"Carla sua Porca!" ("Carla you dirty girl!")
At which she responded by saying:
" Sim, eu sou uma grande PORCA!" ("Yes, I'm very DIRTY!")

And so it was... Another great lesson about bentonic and placton organisms stained by the depraved minds of those two perverts!

Hope yo've enjoyed our first day! Feel free to leave your comments... Signed please ;)

*Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*




Strap-ons... Oops... Add-ons to Quotes of the Day!

Well, as you all (sniff no-one-comes-here sniff) noticed, our cute little blog was created today, so we've all been pretty histerical about it. (I'm sure it will go away in a few... millions of...hundreds of... decades...)

And so, we've been collecting every quote that we can remember to post it here...

Here are a few more that we've come up till now...
Do not fear (or do!)! More will certainly follow!

1. The Classic: China Cabra, Morre Puta! -> By Stoopid
("Chinate Bitch, Die Whore!")

2. Everything that has a pulse is Lunch! Yumi! -> Fuck

3. You'd be yumi in my tummy... -> Kinky

4. Go, suck your blade! -> Silent(ly Evil)

5. Pretty please with a cherry on top? -> Fuck ( while doing puppy eyes)

6. Pretty please with melted chocolate on top? -> Bitch (smirking)

7. Slow and circular... slow and circular... -> Kinky, while rubbing slow circules on Bitch's arm...

8. Bombing for peace, is like fucking for Virginity! -> Fuck

9. Say ya like it Bitch! Say it! -> Kinky, while furiously spanking Bitch on her ass...

10. Eu sou um coelho branco... -> Kinky and Dumb (note: they were force to say it by Stoopid of course!)
(I'm a white rabbit...)

11. a) Put it where the sun doesn't shine!
b) At night, there's no sun... 'Cause someone stole it!
c) And they've hidden it somewhere for it to shine!
Conclusion: At night there's a piece of sun up all our asses! -> By Kinky and Bitch (in the middle of a genetics' class)

And that's all folks!

*Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*

Mort and Handcuffs

I was about to study chemistry when a thought occurred to me...Why does the Mort ( Death ) have to be color-blinded?? Why does it have no imagination?And the most important question: why does it have a horse named Binky??Why the fuck ( me :) ) Binky? Could be THE AVENGER, or Esfincter Horse, or even Rectum Wrecter...But no.... his name is Binky!! what the Hell??

trivial Fact: Do you know that it was the Portuguese people who invented the Portuguese Pump?( stop staring at me... I'm the MOST innocent one here... )

whips, whips, whips, whips.... LOL
I'm a little tired of whips really, HANDCUFFS TIME!!HHEHEHEHHEHEH

Maybe Mort would like to play with my handcuffs...

Important poll: Have you already had sex with a dead person/animal/whatever ?


*Fuck, THE BETA-MALE*

Aula de Genética / genetics Class

So, we were happily talking about linkage (if you don't know, don't ask) and Mr. Spock's future progeny with a earthling, when Bitch touched Fuck's leg and exclaimed (loudly) "Ó Zé, és tão duro!" ("Zé, you're so hard!").
Now this particular episode deserves an explanation since Bitch is a married potatoe. What happened was: when she unintentionally touched Fuck's leg, she found his mobile phone...*cof cof*

Carrying on, in the middle of problem number 16 (about a hemophilic female rabbit and her partner, a tailless male rabbit), our genetics Professor (aka blue nosed pervert) blurted out:
"... ignoramos as fêmeas... Tipo Mr. Gay... E não é que vi ontem o homem? Felizmente ele não me viu.."
"E ainda falam de nós..." -> Kinky
"Decididamente os nossos Profs não regulam..." -> Silent(ly Evil)
("... so we ignore the female... Just like Mr. Gay... And didn't I saw the man yesterday? Thankfully he didn't see me..."
"And they talk about us..." -> Kinky
"Without a doubt our Profs are wackos")->Silent(ly Evil))

Further down the row of desks, Kinky was whispering to Silent (while bowing):
"Eu venero-te Carlia..." -> Kinky
"Venera-me, venera-me" -> Silent (with a megalomaniac smile splashed across her face)
"Só não te posso lamber os sapatos porque não estou em posição..." -> Kinky (drooling)
"Não obrigado. Ias-me sujar os ténis, e eu não gosto..." -> Silent

(" I worship you Carlia" -> Kinky
" Worship me, worship me..." -> Silent (with a megalomaniac smile splashed across her face)
"I just can't lick you're shoes, 'cause I'm not in position..." -> Kinky (drooling)
" No thanks. You'd drool my sneakers and I don't like that..." -> Silent)

While that was hapenning, Fuck, who was actually paying attention to the actual class, yelled (in response to a one of the Genetics' Professor answer):
"69!!!!!" (we rest our case).

And that was the end of another crazy Genetics' class, where you learn everything... except genetics!

* Kinky, omega-male/female, guida, kika *

Well, well, kinky you forgot to mention our favorite hobby in Genetics' class...
Me and Kinky have a hobby during the class... Instead of paying attention to our teacher, we like to watch/learn how to PERFECTLY suck on a pencil, or a pen, or even o the fingers, coz we have a friend ( cof cof ) who just has an oral fixation....

*Fuck, THE BETA-MALE*

Oral fixation? Now wtf is that supposed to mean? Just because I'm loud doesn't mean I have an oral fixation!!! Zé on the other hand chews on everything he sees. Not the healthiest of habbits if you ask me! Sure it was fun the first eight or nine times, but after a few hundreads, it gets old seeing him come out of the room chewing on something you have no idea what it is, to have to some random girl ran out yelling "Give me my nipple back you pervert!" I mean, HELLO? You've got another one, what's all the fuss about?

Oh, I seem to deviate, we were talking on genetics right? Have no idea what it is like, since I bail all the time, but that's a different story, for a different day children. Time to feed Fluffy now. Any body have some spare limbs? :D

*Stoopid, The One and ONLY Alpha-Male, Future.... blah blah blah you all know this crap by now right?*


Fuck's Biography

Hi! this is my first post here...
What can i say about me....
I'm cute.... eat me?? OH and I'm also cute, and cute, and ...... PUFFY??
.....
I remember now! I'm also the Powerful Master of All the Reality and ..... Beyoncé!!! ooopsss Behind!!!oopppppssss Beyond!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=)

*Fuck, THE BETA-MALE*

Ok, for starters! YOU ARE NOT CUTE!!! GET OVER IT!!!
As for the Puffy part... I shall not comment...

And please, please, pretty please!!! Stop listening to f**king Beyoncé!! It's.... ARGHHHH!!!
Well, that's all... No more comments about your biography from me...

Oh, I forgot to mention... Fuck is also the single most depressing individual on the face of this Earth!

That's all Folks! See ya!

*Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*


Hmm what can I say about Fuck? Well it's wonderful! You know just let the imagination fly and...

Ooops wrong kinda of fuck! I was even picturing Kinky here, but You don't, I'll say it again, DON'T wanna picture that!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day Fuck was aborted, erm I mean born was truly magical! Finally someone managed to end the Salvado dynasty! Wee no more of those around here, but you all got that from the behind part right? Ok ok I'm joking the man's a virtual stud! He's got more kids lying around than Mahatma Ghandi and I don't mean on tissue alone!!!!

Well just to finish this up, what can you say besides, who DOESN'T love a great Fuck? Especially if it's cute and puffy and edible! :P Ooops wrong Fuck again, I really oughta be careful where I stick... my opinion!!!! Ero!!!!!!!

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Gui, Future Ruler of the World! Or at least a small country with loads of 'censured'*

I forgot to mention my likes and dislikes...
So Fuck likes: WHIPS, chains, folds..... oopps!!! blindfolds... hmmm did I mention whips??
Fuck dislikes: normal sex.... except when it is with twisted individuals (note: by individual I mean someone or something that can already walk ) or with a lot of people.....
when I remember something else I'll put it here...

*Fuck, THE BETA-MALE*

How to domesticate him well

Well... It´s simple. You just need to Knock him out with anestisiacs, tie him to a board, open him up and say: lay down! Play dead!
Of course, this occured in a animal physiology class, and the subject was a white mouse... (eheheh) . But you can try it on other things, and ocasions (except the opening part...).

By Silent (ly Evil)

Yeah yeah yeah, I can hear all you PETA freaks complaining now, how we are so cruel and mean hearted et all. But, just to show you we are nice people, I'll tell you what happens to the mouse after class is over! What do you think we do, Kill it and throw in the garbage bin? WRONG! We kill it and store it in the freezer for later use aka anatomy study next class. Now aren't we animal loving and civilized? Well ok, so you can say some of us are too animal looving *gives Bitch and Fuck a weird look before moving on* but hey no one is perfect and since this is our blog, I don't really care what you think :D

*Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Gui, mouse carver. Want your name made out of mice gut? Only 4.99€!*

Frases do Dia (compilação) / Quotes of the day (compilation)

Since this little group has been spreading havoc for more than a year, we've decided to post here a short (or not...) compilation of the most annoying, pervert, demented and deeeeeep quotes that have passed through our innocent little mouths.

1. "You're not straight, you're twisteeeed" -> Kinky to Fuck.

2. "A Margarida tá a precisar de um graaaande... tau-tau!" -> Silent(ly Evil) to Kinky
( "Guida is in need of a biiiiiig... spanky-spanky!")

3. "Lá está... Fixação com Bolas!" - Silent(ly Evil) about Biostatistics Professor (aka The Depraved One)
(" There ya go... Obsession with Balls!")

4. "O amor quebra todas as barreiras... E a primeira delas... é o hímen! Ou o esfincter anal... Ou os collants... Ou as amigdalas..." -> Dumb to her mother (at the dinner table)
(Love breaks all barriers... And the first one... is the hymen! Or the anal sphincter... Or the pantyhose... Or the tonsils...")

5. "Zé, põe os penduricalhos para dentro!" -> Everyone to Fuck (on various occasions...)
("Zé, put away your dangling-thingys!")

6. " Margarida, tás aqui tas a levar! -> Bitch to Kinky
Yes... pleaaaaseee!" -> Kinky to Bitch
("Margarida, do that again and I'll spank ya!
Yes... pleaaaaseee!")

7. "A Rebelo é uma cabra sexy! Eu piscava-lhe o olho... se soubesse!" -> Nag regarding Chemistry Professor (aka the Lesbian Freak)
(" Rebelo is a sexy bitch! I'd wink at her... if I knew how!")

8. "Le filssss... du DEMOOONNN!!! " -> Kinky to Stoopid
(gotta imagine an angry dwarf yelling at your face to get the whole experience...)
note Kinky is not a dwarf, of course (she's threatening me... I'm afraid... *sniff sniff*)

9. "Ou apanhamos ali à frente no cu de judas ou então aqui atrás!" -> Dumb to everyone regarding a bus...*cof cof*
("We either get it up ahead, or in the back!")

10. "Hi, I'm cute. Eat me!" -> Fuck to Everyone (short version)

11. "Hi, I'm shy. Eat me now!" -> Nag to Everyone (long version)

12. " A Elsa é a causa de todo o mal no mundo! Ontem à noite comeu uma batata a mais, e por isso morreram 10 mil pessoas à fome na Etiópia" -> Stoopid to Dumb
("Elsa is the cause for all evil in the world! Last night she ate an extra potatoe at dinner, and therefore 10 thousand people died of hunger in Ethiopia!")

13. "Eu sou uma batata casada." -> By Bitch
("I'm a married potatoe!")

14. "Eu sou uma batata encalhada." -> By Dumb
("I'm a stuck potatoe!")

15. "Eu sou um saco de batatas encalhado. Ó pra mim a rolar!" -> By Stoopid about Dumb
("I'm a bag of stuck potatoes. Look at me rolling!")

16. "Eu sou uma batata a murro!" -> By Dumb
("I'm a punched potatoe!")

17. "Margarida, tu és o meu tumor!" -> Fuck to Kinky
("Margarida, you're my tumor!")

18. "π x π / π' ≈ -3 " -> By Eediot

19. " Parar é gromar..." -> By Dumb (while pissed drunk)
(" To Stop is to barf!")

20. "A Elsa fala demais... Logo, falta de sexo. A Carlia fala de menos... Logo... O que é que isso nos diz sobre a Carlia? Hmmm...Sua ganda maluka. Sua doida!" -> Nag/Bitch/Naughty about Dumb and Silent(ly Evil)
("Elsa talks too much... Therefore, lack of sex. Carlia is always silent... Therefore... What does that tells us about Carlia? Hmmm... You crazy you! Insane!")

*Compiled by Bitch, Kinky, Nag, Naughty, Silent(ly Evil), Fuck and Eediot!*

Introduction to the Demented Nine

Well... Where to start...
Let's begin at the beginning then? ;)

In the beginning there was nothing...
It was all blackness... with little green spots... and little blue spots... and little red spots... and... nevermind, where were we? Ah right...
And then the 9 appeared...
With their demented little heads (expect for Dumb who has the biggest forehead of them all...ih ih ih), and their little black shrinked twisted hearts.

And so this demented blog was born...

Now let's introduce ourselves:

The father: Stoopid, Alpha-male, or more commonly known as Gui!
The uncle: Fuck, Beta-male, or just ...(n)
The (Adopted) Daughters:
Bitch, Tau-female or me! (Cat)
Nag, Psi-female aka Lia!
Naughty, teta-female or just risA...
Kinky, Omega-female/male (aka hermaphrodite), Guida!
Eediot, Iota-female, Raquel...
Silent(ly Evil), Lambda-female, Carlia!
Dumb, still competing for the Alpha-male position with Stoopid, aka Elsa!

And there ya go... This is our little family...
Aren't we cute? :P Or not...

So, I'll say my goodbyes now, leaving a small message: (not sms, you addicts!)

The Demented minds are coming...
And with them a wave of depravedness, darkness and...Fluffiness! *giggles giggles*

Be afraid, be very afraid!
The beginning of the end is starting!

Mwuahahahaha...


*By Bitch, Tau-female, Cat*

Wel this is all very nice and dandy but INCORRECT in the hystorical view point! What they meant was not "And Puff the nine appeared" but instead "Puff and our great father was made out of the Void and with his manly and powerful hands sculptured our puny forms out of nothingness." And THEN the nine were made! No that all this is made correct, you may resume the ritual sacrifices. But no virgins! Frickin wasters...

*By Stoopid, Alpha-Male, Gui, Creator of the know Universe, because those damn spots/balls were mine to begin with!*